Damali's gaze drifted toward the bathroom, and Marlene rubbed her thigh with a supportive, maternal touch.
"Carlos is in your system," Marlene murmured. "I know. I don't need second sight to tell - it's a woman thing. Knowledge, regardless. But I would never, ever violate that space in your head. Know that. Because it's private, and I don't want it done to me ... or any of the guys."
Damali's gaze immediately found Marlene's. "How did you know I was concerned about that?"
"I'm a mom ... and a woman. Remember? Plus, I can see some things written all over your face whenever the man's name is mentioned."
She could feel herself smile as her face began to burn with embarrassment.
"I want you to take a white bath every night. Let me put a ring of salt and sage around your bed, and hang garlic ... even over the showerhead." Marlene winked at her. "Just a lucky guess. I wasn't prying."
Damali conceded with a nod, looking away, too ashamed to speak on the subject.
"Once you make your decision to be with someone, it will be difficult but not impossible to fight the pull. You will get to a place where your mind and your spirit will arrest your body," Marlene said in a quiet tone. "You get to a point where your eyes will see what is necessary to see before you act, and you will have the strength of will to garner patience - and you will acquire a level of truth in your choice that will take away the burn ... but you will always simmer. That's life." Marlene smiled. "Ask me how I know."
Damali studied the pattern in the gold bedspread as she spoke, unable to meet Marlene's knowing gaze. "Some days... it's ... well ..."
"I know," Marlene said. "You're burning too hot to even think - your mind is frying. Look, even if it ain't a vamp pull, there's stuff and people out there, these days, that can kill you. Be prudent, despite the burn. Everybody needs to chill, and get back to basics. The old way."
"But, Mar... for real, for real... I mean with everything around you - and ... How do you just chill, make it go away, and move forward without thinking about it sometimes? Wondering, you know ... even when you know it could be bad for you?"
She cast her gaze to her finger as it made a new pattern within the comforter pattern. How could she just come out and say it - to a mom-person? How did you just tell a mother that this guy was in your head, in your dreams, made you wet your panties just thinking about him, and that every time you closed your eyes you wanted to be with him? How did you explain that this very basic instinct was the basics at the moment, that it rode shotgun with the other things you had on your mind, and traveled with you while you did everything else necessary in your life ... that it was on you like a habit? Rather than speak, she let her breath out hard again instead. Carlos wasn't a vamp, but he had a pull like one.
Marlene sat quietly for a while, watching Damali draw invisible swirls on the bed. "I know it's hard, and I'm not going to lie to you - I don't have a secret potion for that."
Marlene chuckled. "You have to do that. You know the life he leads, and you know the outcome of said life. If you think a pull to Carlos is bad, wait till a master vampire gets into your brain during a lair hunt. That's what I'm concerned about, baby. If you can't get a mere human attraction out of your head - when you know it's not good for you - then, I have my very realistic worries. It means you aren't ready. Carlos is ... just a guy," she added with a sigh. "Coulda made something real positive of himself, had all the attributes to make him really an asset, a community treasure ... in fact, he was guardian material, once. But for whatever his reasons, and we all have a long story, he chose to go down the wrong road - one you are very far removed from. Got it?"
When Damali looked up and gave Marlene a mournful glance, Marlene laughed.
"If it's that bad, maybe I can cook something up."
Damali chuckled and shook her head, blinking back sudden tears, not sure where they came from. "I'm cool."
"Yeah, right," Marlene scoffed. "Whooo boy. Okay. Listen. I want you to get to a very still place in your head. I want you to go past the primal, the physical level, and think about the future. What do you want - long-term? What is important - long-term? What can you build that is positive?"
Marlene sighed and forced Damali's chin up with a gentle prod of her finger. "If it is damaging to your spirit, to your mind, or your soul, I want you to fight it and step away from it with everything that we have all taught you thus far. I don't care if the pull is to something human, or otherwise. These are the basics, young lady. And I will trust that you'll do that, even though the mere thought of just stepping back and watching you decide all by yourself gives me white knuckles." Marlene chuckled softly. "Girl, I'm getting the hives from this mess."
Marlene continued to chuckle quietly as she stood and walked in a circle. "Shoot, if we only had to worry about a mere human on your trail, and just a hood, we'd react the same way! The fact that Carlos is a community predator - even if he ain't a vamp - we'd still trip. Shabazz has been itching to roll up on homeboy to call him out anyway."
Marlene took a battle stance, making Damali laugh hard now as she imitated Shabazz's deep voice. "Could you see your big brother rolling up on Rivera - 'Yo, player, player, if you lookin' for a woman, Sleepin' Beauty will tighten you up. Don't get it twisted - my li'l sis is off-limits. Chill."
The way Marlene swaggered around the room with an invisible Clock in her hand made Damali burst out in a new round of laughter as she fell back on the bed. When Marlene put both hands on her hips, Damali waved her away so she could recover. "Shabazz would freak."
"Yeah, and picture him and Big Mike meeting hombre in an alley. Okaaay."
"No, stop," Damali wheezed. "Okay, okay, okay, I get your point. Dude has issues. I know," she said, chuckling, "But... but he's so fine ... God. Why couldn't he have just gone down the right road?"
"He wanted money and power, and wasn't patient to figure out another way - so pick a different guy. I don't care if he's not bearing fangs, and is all that looks-wise - sexy Latino voice, smooth vibe, what-eva. His lifestyle is just as dangerous as a vamp's. Carlos Rivera is not a good choice - not a smart one. Not for you."
"I know ... been knowin' that. But, dang ..." Damali shook her head; the mirth began distilling into despair again. "But I also thought it was my choice."
"It is - but you can't blame us for wanting to stack the deck in your favor ... which is to steer you away from guys like him."
Damali sighed and nodded. "You can stack the deck, but just remember I hold the cards. Okay?"
"All right," Marlene conceded. "But men are crazy."
"Mar, tell me something I don't know."