old breath mints and tampons go to die. I finally find it just in time to answer. I see who’s calling and am relieved I didn’t miss him. The eight-hour time difference doesn’t make connecting easy.
“Hi, Dad,” I say.
Ours has always been a close relationship, though he doesn’t call me by some cute nickname from my childhood. He never called me pumpkin or baby girl. My mom said he never once used baby talk with me. He used to tell me if I acted mature, he’d treat me that way. That’s not to say he wasn’t fun or silly with me. He was deployed a lot, but when he was home, he was always playing with me. No matter what I wanted to do. He was the best tea party guest a girl could have.
“So your Gigi tells me she finally told you about Thomas,” he says.
“You knew?” I exclaim.
“I’m her only child,” he says. “I’ve known for awhile.”
“Why did no one tell me?” I ask, taking a seat in my car and pressing the auto start button.
The Bluetooth connection comes on, so I miss a little of what he says in the transfer. “Wasn’t my place to say,” he says.
“It wasn’t Gigi’s place to tell you that Knox is back in my life, but I’m sure she told you, anyway,” I say.
“Knox?” he asks, like he’s never heard that name before.
Oh shit, I guess Gigi didn’t spill the beans. “Forget I said that.”
“Not likely,” he says. “How long has this been going on?”
“Not long.”
“You happy?” he asks.
I stop at a stop sign, looking around before I continue my drive. “I am.”
“Okay, then,” he says. “What else is going on in your world?”
“Really? That’s it?” I ask. “You’re not going to go all hardcore, overprotective dad on me?”
“When have I ever done that?” he teases.
“Hmm, let’s see. How about when Mom found my birth control pills? Or when Knox and I wanted to go on that overnight church trip our senior year? Or when . . .”
“Isolated incidents,” he says with a chuckle.
It suddenly hits me that Gigi has a new beau, and I have someone in my life, but my dad is alone. To my knowledge, he hasn’t dated anyone since my mom passed away. “What about you, Dad?” I ask. “Are you happy?”
“If you’re happy, then I’m happy,” he says with a twinge of sadness in his voice.
That’s always been his motto. He used to say that if his wife and daughter were happy, then he was. With Mom gone, I guess he directed all that focus to me.
I take a deep breath, looking down at my mom’s shirt. My dad is only in his fifties. He’s handsome and kind and fit, and way too young to spend the rest of his life alone. My mom wouldn’t want that, and I don’t want that. “I know I didn’t have the best reaction to Gigi dating, and I know you don’t need my permission, but I would be okay if you . . .” The words get caught in my throat, and I can’t finish.
“It’s a little soon,” he says.
“It’s been over a year,” I say softly.
“I was with your mother more than half my life,” he says. “A year isn’t that long.”
My eyes fill up. A part of me is relieved. I can’t imagine what it would be like to see my father hold another woman’s hand, kiss her. It would definitely take some getting used to. And God forbid, he played the field, and I’d have to see him with multiple women. Thank God, he lives in France.
“Will you tell me if you do start dating?” I ask. “I’d prefer not to be blindsided again.”
“I will,” he says. “And you’ll tell me if Knox hurts you again. I’ll make sure he doesn’t get a third chance!”
“There’s my overprotective Dad!”
He chuckles. “Now tell me what you have planned for Gigi’s birthday. I’m so sorry I’m missing it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Cassette
Mae to Knox
Age Sixteen
Knox,
I got your cassette. You know the one. The one where you said you loved me. I loved it.
Love . . .
Is love a choice? A decision? Or are we all victims to it?
I don’t think you woke up that morning and thought, I’m going to love Mae today. You made the decision to tell me, but was loving me a decision, or was it something that just happened to you?
You happened to me, Knox. I like to think with my head. A pro/con list is my best