born a man, I wouldn’t be as smart[S11].”
Her eyes gleamed. “Very true. But the fact remains. You will never have the respect you deserve. You will always be just a woman in this world. A baby-making machine who doubles as a bargaining chip for allegiances.”
“And in your world, that isn’t the case?”
Tatiana shook her head. “You would be one of my closest advisors, a position you deserve, and would have if you weren’t a woman.” Her eyes invited me. “Don’t you want that, Elena? Notoriety? Your superior intelligence revered?”
Some part of me did want that. Even after publishing a random journal article under a pseudonym, I had still craved my peers’ validation. My looks and personality had never been anything I cared about, but my brain? My intelligence? I held it up to the highest degree, and expected others to do the same.
Arrogant, yes. But true.
If I hadn’t been born in this world, my life would’ve been so different. I would’ve graduated high school early, gone to the college of my choice. I would’ve spent my years researching and discussing, sitting in labs and typing away at computers. There would’ve been awards and medals.
But that wasn’t my fate. Nor would it ever be.
“I do,” I said honestly.
Tatiana’s expression sharpened. “I can give all that to you,” she said. “I have been underestimated as well, Elena.” She sure had. “But revenge will be mine. Will you join me?”
“Why will you have revenge?” I asked.
Tatiana’s lips thinned. “The men in this world...they only know how to take. And who do they take the most from? Women in this world. All we do is give: our wombs, our time, our lives. But I refuse to give anymore. What about you, Elena, will you keep giving?” Amusement sparked in her eyes. “You have only ever cared about yourself, this I know. Why stop now?”
I had only cared about myself.
Every move I have ever made was to keep myself alive and surviving. When my father had laid his hands on my mother, I didn’t make a move. But when he laid his hands on me? I killed him. The same with Thaddeo. I didn’t care about the innocents who had suffered at the hands of his crimes, but when he came after me? It was only a matter of time before his death was mine.
What place did a heartless creature like that have in the Tarkhanov Bratva? Monsters, yes. But they loved each other. Past the fangs and violence, they saw each other at their core and loved them fiercely. Nobody went without and everybody was always happy to give.
And for a brief time...just a moment...I had been a part of that. I had received and given, been cared for and cared for in return.
I looked at Tatiana.
Her entire adult life, Tatiana had been loved and loved in return.
But I feared the damage had been wrought long before she’d met Dmitri. And I doubted even his love for her would’ve been enough to combat the darkness in her soul.
“Why me?” I asked. “Because I’m so apathetic and intelligent?”
Tatiana smiled. “Of course. Why else?” She peered at me. “You were the destroyer of my plans and now you will be their redemption. The things we will achieve together, Elena...oh, we shall go down in history.”
History.
The word sat in my mind, bright and potent.
I looked down at my hands. Words scrawled over the knuckles and fingers and palms. My thoughts summed up in a mixture of chaotic letters. Cold-shoulder, loneliness, nausea, misery.
And in between the thumb and pointing-finger, a small four-letter word had been written—outlined enough that it was darker than the other scrawls.
“No.”.
Tatiana went still. “No?”
I met her eyes, holding my chin high. “No. I will not help you, child killer. When my work is held in high esteem, it will have nothing to do with anybody else but me.”
Her lips curled back. “Fine. Have it your way.” She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the window.
Down in the garden, among the wild shrubs and overgrown plants, Roksana and Danika were kneeling. The four men who had taken them stood around. Two held guns, and those guns were pointed straight at Roksana and Danika.
My stomach fell.
“Oh, Elena,” Tatiana cooed. “The stupidest thing you have ever done is cared about someone other than yourself. Not so smart, now, are you?”
I said, in a voice that sounded like mine but was not, “If any harm comes to either of them, you will pay.”
“Yes, yes. Artyom and Roman