and heading west toward Nepheste’s Ruins. We only slowed to prevent our Zeelahs from snaring their ankles in gnarled tree roots. Lightwood was nowhere near as dense as the Kitska Forest, but that didn’t mean traveling was smooth. Pine trees clambered together, low branches skimming the tops of our heads. Leena picked her way through it all, leading without ever looking back and pushing her mount to the limit. By the time she called it, a glossy sheen covered the flanks of her panting Zeelah.
Sliding to the ground, she surveyed the small meadow. Thick grass swayed against her leather breeches, and I was reminded of the first clearing where we’d made camp. Of the time she flexed her beast network and put Calem in his place.
Birdcalls, high and sweet, coursed through the air, and she tilted her head to the trees. How many bits would I pay to hear her thoughts, to know how she was reacting to the news of my curse? A million? More? Was there even a price?
She hadn’t bothered with makeup this morning, and all I could do was cringe. Those dark bags and chapped lips were death sentences. She coughed into the back of her hand, and I held my breath. Searched for red droplets against her skin. Nothing.
I needed to push her further away. Kost had fallen this far, and I’d somehow managed to keep him breathing. I could do the same with her. I’d spent too many years searching for a cure only to come up empty-handed. If the Gyss didn’t work, then she could still have a life elsewhere. Find someone else. No matter how much that notion made my teeth clench and stomach churn.
Not to mention the bounty. Gods. When it came to us, there were just too many thorns. But damn if I didn’t want to cut them all down and see what grew.
Patting her mare on the neck, Leena led her away from the forest’s edge. “Make camp here. I’ll be back in a few hours with Noc’s beast.”
I barely had a chance to open my mouth before Calem and Ozias simultaneously protested.
“You shouldn’t go alone,” Ozias said.
Calem echoed him a breath later. “Let us come with you. You look…tired.”
Strained smile on her lips, she glanced at Kost before turning her attention to Ozias and Calem. “I am tired, but I’ll be fine. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that this taming requires a lot of concentration on my part. There’s no danger, I promise.”
Kost studied her while Calem and Ozias shared a wearied look. Slowly, Kost’s damning, horrified stare slid to me. He knew.
I couldn’t let her go alone. Not when she was sick. “I’ll come with you.”
Leena’s eyes devoured me. So many emotions, so little time to categorize them all, but the last thing I glimpsed was uncertainty. Fear. Of what? The curse or the Gyss? I wouldn’t use the beast against her, even if it meant losing my curse. She had to know that.
She nodded once. A cool breeze swept over us, and she grabbed her jacket from the back of her Zeelah. With quick hands, she laced it up and pulled the hood over her head, obstructing the view of her face. Wisps of hair flirted with the edge of fabric. “Let’s get this over with.”
She walked away into the woods, hands shoved in her jacket pockets. Her light squandered, she was as cold as an assassin and dressed the part. What I would give to see her glow again.
Couldn’t she see that I was doing this to protect her? To protect us both?
No. Gods damn it, I didn’t want her to see. It was all a hopeless tangle.
Calem and Ozias dismounted, carrying saddlebags a short distance away to set up camp. Kost, on the other hand, remained seated on his Zeelah, the heavy weight of his stare still hammering into my back.
“She’s dying.”
I swallowed. Hard. “Yes.”
His voice was carefully even. “Does she know why?”
“Yes. It’s why she finally agreed to the Gyss taming.” I hated that it sounded like I’d forced her hand. She had been so unwilling to trade me the beast before, and now, faced with an impossible fate I’d bestowed on her… I shivered. She didn’t deserve this.
As I took a step to follow her, Kost’s words rooted me in place. “Noc. Fix this.”
I turned. “Everything is fine. No matter what, everything will be fine. I’ll distance myself like I’ve done before. She’s not too far gone.”