then started sawing on her overcooked steak.” I thought we were gonna sell Joe and Tommy a pearl, whatever that means.”
“We’re gonna sell them a pearl for the front money, but that’s not the scam. That only finances the scam. The opening act of this scam has gotta get deep into their pockets. We gotta take these goombas for a million dollars or more, and we gotta set it up so they start accusing each other. We gotta get them going. We need a team of operators working. I need to pull in some more people.”
“Tell me about this pearl thing first,” she persisted, trying to cover her shock at the million-dollar size of the scam.
“She’s not being too cooperative,” Paper Collar John said in his soft baritone voice.
“She’s a lawyer,” Beano said. “Whatta you expect?”
“I forgot that,” John deadpanned.
“You guys gonna tell me what we’re going to do, or are you gonna just sit here wasting time, taking target practice on the legal profession?”
“Okay,” Beano said. “The deal is, you and I are gonna be lovers. How do you like it so far?” She showed no reaction. “I’m Bubba Budweiser from Locadocious, Texas. You’re Rhonda Roundheels from right here in town. You’re gonna dress up in hooker spandex and paste yourself on me like wet clothing. And you’re gonna laugh and giggle at everything I say, and I’m gonna be pinching your ass and telling you you’re the sweetest little piece of fluff this side of Red Gulch. Then, while you simper and fawn, I’m gonna buy you a twenty-millimeter black pearl.”
“Really?” she said deadpan.
“Yep.”
“Not on the best day you ever had.”
“I thought you wanted to be in on this.”
“I do, I just don’t have a real strong stomach.”
“Listen,” Beano said, leaning in and lowering his voice, “if you think I’m interested in copping a free feel, forget it. That’s not what I’m looking for.” She was really pissing him off. “What I need is your help to pull this off. I can go hire a hooker, but then we got an accomplice who’s probably not too smart and will turn us in for money. You said you wanted to be in this. … You might as well learn to be a player.”
“I’m not gonna dress up like a whore.”
“There ain’t much you will do, is there?” Beano said, slipping back into his native South Carolina accent, which he had all but lost, except when he was truly pissed off. “You wanna have a piece of everything. But you won’t tell me nothing ‘cept what you think is important. Don’t matter you never stole nothing in your life, you’re gonna be the expert, gonna approve everything. You wanna tell me and John how to run this game? You wanna dole out information? What the fuck good does that do?” He was almost yelling.
“Calm down, Beano,” John said.
Beano leaned back and rubbed his eyes. “You’re right. She gets to me, John. Maybe it’s just ‘cause I feel so shitty about Carol … or maybe it’s ‘cause she and I are just oil and water, I don’t know. All I know is, I wanna do this, and all I get outta Miss Hart here is stupid questions and reasons why what I’m trying ain’t right. We won’t have any coordination this way. We’re gonna crash and burn.”
Victoria watched as he bolted out of his chair and went to the bathroom at the far end of the room.
They hadn’t planned it in advance, but they’d done so many scams together since Beano was six, John knew Beano was going to throw a fit and leave the table the minute Victoria got stubborn. He left John to be the “singer” and do Beano’s commercial for him, the way it was supposed to be done.
“Good goin’. I never saw anyone get to him like that before,” John said, laying down a primer coat of guilt.
“Hey, Mr. Bates, if you two think I’m going to be a silent partner here, then you’re in for a startling disappointment.”
“He’s good, Miss Hart. Beano could sell Ebenezer Scrooge Christmas trees. There’s no grifter on this planet with more natural talent and I seen most of them.” His voice turned rich and velvety. “Maybe you should know he grew up with Carol Sesnick. Ever since they were nine or ten years old, they were like brother and sister. He loved her. He ain’t gonna show you how much ‘cause he’s a sharper, and a sharper don’t let his feelings