for me.
She drove off before he noticed her.
When she came to her house, it took her some considerable time to find the keys. She could see that Mitsos had been in. No taps were dripping, no light was switched on unnecessarily. There were several letters on the kitchen table, two from the Swedish Institute in Athens, one from the Friends of Kavalla House. She left them unopened.
There was a bottle of wine on the bench next to the little refrigerator. She opened it and poured herself a glass. She had never drunk as much as she had been doing these last few weeks.
There was no rest for her. She was in a state of constant inner turmoil which was not always in step with the hustle and bustle around her.
She drank her wine and sat down in Leandros's creaking rocking chair. She gazed and gazed at her CD player without being able to make up her mind what she wanted to listen to.
When the bottle was half empty she moved to the desk, took out some writing paper and a fountain pen and started to write a letter to Uppsala University. She explained her situation and asked for a year's unpaid leave.
My pain and confusion are such that it would be presumptuous of me to believe that I could carry out responsibly the tasks the director of the excavations would need to undertake. Right now I am using up all my resources – if I have any left? – in an attempt to look after myself.
The letter turned out to be longer than she had intended. A request for leave ought to be brief. What she had written was a prayer, or perhaps a confused confession.
She wanted them to know what it felt like to lose your only child.
She found an envelope in a box, inserted the letter and sealed it. Mitsos's dog was barking. She took the car and drove to a nearby taverna where she often used to eat. The owner was blind. He sat motionless on a chair, as if he were slowly turning into a statue. His daughterin- law did the cooking and his wife acted as waitress. None of them understood English, but Louise used to go into the cramped, steam-filled kitchen and point out what she wanted.
She had stuffed cabbage rolls and salad, a glass of wine and a cup of coffee. There were not many other diners. She recognised nearly all of them.
When she returned to her house, Mitsos suddenly loomed up in the darkness. She gave a start.
'Did I scare you?'
'I didn't know who it was.'
'Who could it have been, apart from me? Panayiotis perhaps. But he's gone to a football match, Panathinaikos are playing tonight.'
'Will they win?'
'They're bound to. Panayiotis reckons it will be three – one. He's usually right.'
She opened the door and let him in.
'I've been away longer than I thought.'
* * *
Mitsos had sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. He eyed her seriously.
'I've heard what has happened. I'm very sorry to hear about the boy's death. All of us are. Panayiotis has cried. The dogs have kept quiet for once.'
'It was so unexpected.'
'Nobody expects a young man to die. Except in wartime.'
'I've come to pack my things and pay you the rest of the rent.'
Mitsos flung his arms out wide.
'You don't owe me anything.'
He said it so forcefully that she did not insist. Mitsos was obviously embarrassed and was searching for something to talk about. She reminded herself that she used to think he was like Artur. There was something about their inability to handle emotions that touched her.
'Leandros is ill. The old security guard. What is it you call him? He was your phylakes anghelos.'
'Our guardian angel. What's the matter with him?'
'He started stumbling when he walked. Then he kept falling over. At first they thought it was his blood pressure. Last week they found a big ongos in his head. I think it's called a "tumour".'
'Is he in hospital?'
'He refuses to go. He won't allow them to open up his skull. He'd prefer to die.'
'Poor Leandros.'
'He's had a long life. He thinks that it's time for him to die. Oti prepi na teleiossi, tha teleiossi, as we say. "What has to come to an end will end".'
Mitsos stood up to go.
'I intend leaving tomorrow. I'll be flying to Sweden.'
'Will you be coming back next year?'
'I'll be back.'
She could not stop herself. The bird flew away without her managing to catch hold of its wing.
Mitsos