Kansas (Ruthless Kings MC Atlantic City #2) - K.L. Savage Page 0,46

cleaning and laundry and housework. I did my best to keep the house in working order, and every time I checked on Mom, a deep hatred for my Pops bloomed. All I remembered was hating him, but he wasn’t a bad father. He wasn’t abusive to me. He was supportive financially. He was literally the kind of dad kids wanted, but I always felt something was off about him. For a long time, I thought it was me that was broken. The older I became, the worse the feeling in my gut got, and I was so tired of seeing my Mom waste away. She’s a good woman. She deserved happiness. And she was slowly dying, and I knew it was because of him.” My voice is getting louder. The more I talk about this, the more unhinged I become.

Violet scoots closer to me until our arms touch, and I blow out a stressed breath. Just a simple motion brings me a few levels down from jumping off the ledge.

“I was playing baseball with my best friend Nigel—”

She interrupts me. “Do you still talk to Nigel?”

“Oh yeah, I haven’t seen him in a few years, because the old chapter wouldn’t allow it. They were terrible.”

“Well, maybe this is the chance for you to see him now. Fly him here.”

Damn it, I want to kiss her again.

“Yeah, I’ll have to ask Prez.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I interrupted again. I’m listening.”

I take off the lid and shake the cup against my lips to get some of the marshmallows. “It’s okay. I like it,” I say, chewing through the chocolate doused fluffiness. “Anyway, Nigel had the idea to follow my dad before he left on Friday. He left every weekend and didn’t come back until Sunday night, sometimes Monday. So we followed him. From Tulsa to Wichita, Kansas. Where he had another family.”

She gasps, holding onto my hand tightly.

“I saw them run outside to greet them. A little girl, boy, and the woman was pregnant. The marriage couldn’t have been legal. He was married to my mom since she was able to file for divorce. It fucking killed me to see him with them. They had everything. He kept their home in great shape, unlike ours. He had a good relationship with their mom, unlike mine. Everything clicked. I knew why I hated him.”

“Amos, I am so sorry. He is such as asshole for doing that to you and your mom.”

“He came home, and I had thrown all his shit out on the lawn. He had the nerve to keep pictures of his family right under our noses. I was furious.”

“Oh, Amos,” she sighs.

“So when he got home, we kicked him out. I pointed his gun at his head. I said, “You aren’t in Kansas anymore.” Or something to that effect, and Pops ran out of the house. Nigel called me Kansas ever since, and the name just stuck.”

She throws her arms around me and gives me a hug. “I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

I hold her close, soaking in the comfort she’s willingly giving, and place my nose against her neck to inhale her fruity scent. My heart rate decreases, and I begin to relax.

“And you call yourself Kansas because of that? Oh my god, that’s horrible,” she snorts.

I lean back and smile. “It is, isn’t it? I’ve never really thought about it before.”

“How?” her eyes dart all over my face, that gorgeous smile of hers stretching her lips. “Maybe you’re just a glutton for punishment.”

“You may be right,” I say, kissing her forehead.

“Well, I don’t understand why your dad would do that. Seems both of our fathers lied to us.”

I whirl back, flabbergasted that she knows.

“Don’t act surprised. My sisters are the ones in denial. I’m not. I connected the dots, but by the look on your face, I guess I’m right, aren’t I?”

Our boots thud against the stone as I start walking again. She’s beside me, hand on my arm as we continue our leisurely stroll. “Prez called us into a meeting last night. I’ve been debating on how to tell you. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, I just didn’t know how to bring it up on the first real date I’ve had in years.”

“Hey—” she stops walking and holds onto my arm which has me turning around to face her. “I’m not mad. I know it isn’t exactly the easiest conversation to bring up, but I wouldn’t be mad at you. Him, yes. You, no.