word like we’re an actual couple. My heart fills with pain hearing it now, when I’m so close to leaving, because I know I have to. There’s no future between Zack and I; not if I can’t get past this.
“The media camped outside my house for months, Zack. Once I settled with the Governor and his family instead of sue, which I wasn’t going to, anyway; I was called every name you could think of. Some thought I took their money just to profit from their deaths. It was horrible.”
I look at the picture of me gazing into his eyes on my laptop and almost start crying again. The photo shows exactly what I feel for him, what I started to feel for him the day he showed up at my condo and I deemed him worthy enough to hear my story.
Love. I’m falling in love with this man in front of me; who lives a life that I don’t think I can be a part of.
“I wasn’t allowed to mourn or grieve in private, Zack. Every movement I made was tracked and talked about. I don’t want to live like that.”
I hear Mia gasp behind me. She knows exactly what I’m doing. I don’t know why she should be so surprised. She knows how much I’ve tried to protect my privacy, even using a false last name with my photography business.
“What are you saying, Nic?” Zack stands up so I have to look up at him to face him. His arms are crossed defensively and his eyebrows are furrowed. I don’t want to face him. I want to dial back the time to before I ever stepped foot in Jack’s Bar and met him, or told Mia my desire to move on. Had I waited one more week, one more day, none of this would be happening.
I wouldn’t be saying good-bye to the man I have just started falling in love with.
“I need to go home.”
Mia’s voice interrupts me. “Nic, you can’t. You don’t want to do this.”
I ignore her. “If one single person leaks my name to the press; it will take one person to search my name and find everything they want about my family. I’m not going to go through it again, Zack.”
His face looks tortured when he pulls me out of my chair towards him. “Let me help you. Don’t run away from me, not like this.”
I wipe the tears away that have started falling again. “I’m not going to take the risk of my family’s pictures being spread all over the gossip magazines. I won’t have them becoming the poster family of the risks of texting while driving. And it’ll happen if I’m connected to you Zack. You’re too well-known for somebody to not run this story. I can’t risk it.” I wipe a tear away again. “I’m not strong enough.”
His hands clasp my shoulders tightly as if he’s trying to freeze me to this exact spot forever. I don’t miss the hurt that’s flashing through his eyes, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
“Then maybe I don’t want to have to be strong anymore. Maybe I just want to be normal again.” I press my hand against his cheek. “I’m sorry.” Because I am; I am so incredibly sorry that I’m leaving him. But I can’t think of a single way for this to work out right now.
Right before he starts speaking, the door to the room opens and Jake walks in. I turn my head away so he can’t see my tears, but based on the thick air filling the room right now, I know he can sense something is going on. His voice is soft and worried when he says, “Zack, you need to get ready.”
Zack shakes his head but doesn’t look at him. His darkened eyes are still focused solely on me. “I need some time.”
“Zack.” It’s a warning.
Zack’s head snaps towards him. “Five minutes, damn it.” He leaves without another word. “Damn it!” Zack growls it out. I know he’s frustrated. I can see he’s hurting and pissed, and I feel miserable knowing I’m the cause of it.
“I need to go.” I move to take a step away from Zack but he pulls me back towards him.
“Don’t do this, Nicole. We can figure it out. I promise.” I hate seeing the pain in his eyes. I hate knowing I’m doing this to him. I would love to stay. To just give