her. I don’t mean to be bitchy. But let’s face it – no sleep, lack of food, and the man I love in a coma doesn’t make me love the mornings. I sigh deeply.
This isn’t her fault and there is no reason to take it out on her. I still want to take it out on Rachel but I learned the other day that she left for Vegas for some small role in a movie. It must be nice to be her. She can cause all this damage and then simply leave the state, leaving the rest of us behind to pick up the pieces. I hate her more now, than I ever did before, and I wasn’t sure that was possible.
I turn towards Mia and apologize.
“It’s okay.” She hands me the plastic breakfast container as my stomach growls.
When I’m done with my breakfast, Mia stands nervously at the foot of Zack’s bed. “I called my boss in New York today.”
I glare at her. “You better not turn down the job on my account.” She says nothing, which tells me her answer. “Call them back and change your mind. You have to take this.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” she says so quietly I can barely hear her over the beeping of the machines.
I take a deep breath and turn to her. “You have to do this, Mia. I’ll be okay. Melody and Sammy are still here, and my parents are coming down next weekend. You can’t put your career on hold for me again.” I briefly turn back to Zack.
“Besides, once he wakes up, everything will be okay again.” I so desperately want to believe it and hope it’s true.
I look at her again, standing firm. “You need to do this, for me, at the very least. I won’t be the reason you miss out on your dream job. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
She nods and I make her leave the room immediately to call her potential boss in New York hoping once she explains the situation she’ll still have a job. When she returns, we spend the rest of the morning discussing where she wants to live and what she’ll be doing. I smile, outwardly for maybe the first time in two weeks when I realize that she mentions Chase an awful lot. It makes sense, of course, since he lives in the area, too. But she says it so serenely, and it makes me happy to know she’s met someone too. I’m thrilled for her, truly. After six years of working every day for this, her dream is finally coming true.
I only have to stop and wipe away tears a few times wondering when my dreams will finally come true. But I try as hard as possible to push the thoughts aside at least for a few hours to focus on all the good things going on in her life. She leaves me a few hours later to go back home and tell Chase her news.
I stay in my standard chair right next to Zack’s bedside table for the rest of the day and night. Things are changing. Mia is leaving. I’m currently stuck in a holding pattern, not knowing for sure if I’ll be recording an album, and if not, what kind of job I’ll have, where I’ll be living if something happens to Zack. I can’t even stop the thought from entering my mind but when it does, I lose myself in grief and fear for as long as I can bear it. It happens too often. I want the pain and fear of loss to stop and I want Zack back. I want to know that I still have a place in his heart and in his life. Forever, just like we’d planned.
It feels like a lifetime ago now, as I lay my head on his hand and slowly close my eyes, hoping sleep may actually come to me tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chase and I are in Zack’s room talking about Mia’s move to New York when we hear a light knock on the door. I expect it to be Melody or Sammy or someone else coming to visit Zack. What I don’t expect, is for Chase to tightly grip my arm as we turn and see Rachel standing in the doorway.
I instantly hate her for looking so perfectly beautiful with her skin glowing as if she’s just been on a Caribbean vacation, and her long blond hair falling loosely down her back. How can someone