last thing I want to do. I want to scream and shout that this isn’t fair. It isn’t right for someone as perfect and loving as Zack to be here. And I still, most definitely, want to know why he is here in the first place. I want to know what happened and why he was at Rachel’s. Her name in my head wakes me up briefly, at least enough to realize I’m still standing in his room with a grumpy nurse in the doorway staring at me to leave. I look down at Zack and reluctantly let his hand go as Mia leads me back to the waiting room. I want him, but I still need answers. I still need to know if he wants me.
I silently walk back to the waiting room with Mia’s hand on my elbow. The only people left are Chase, Melody and Sammy. All three women hug me as I return before I collapse onto a nearby chair. I lean my head to the side of the chair next to me and close my eyes. I barely hear them whispering of going home for the night and coming back the next morning. Their words sound like they were coming from a far off tunnel as I drift further away from them.
“I’m not leaving,” I whisper. I open my eyes and look at all of them. “Go home. I’m staying here. I’m not leaving him.”
They seem to know there is nothing they can say or do to convince me otherwise. With quiet nods, they leave the room. Even Mia leaves, and as much I love my friend, I’m grateful she knows I need the space to process this entire hellish day on my own.
With a soft kiss to my cheek she whispers, “I’ll get you a blanket and will bring you clothes tomorrow. We’ll be back first thing.” I don’t care about the clothes, or the blanket, but I nod obediently. I toss and turn all night long on the uncomfortable chair until sleep finally claims me.
***
I refuse to leave Zack’s bedside for the next week. Christmas comes and goes, but I don’t care. I have only vaguely thought of the presents I left half-wrapped on my living room a week before when the phone call came. All I pray for, all I hope for is to see Zack open his eyes. Mia camps out with the rest of his family at his house. Periodically someone brings me food and a change of clothes. But the only thing that matters, the only thing I desperately want to see is Zack’s eyes gazing down on me. And until that happens, I am not going anywhere.
“Hey girl.” Mia speaks quietly when she enters the room. She acts like she is afraid of waking someone up. She shouldn’t be. I hardly sleep anymore. And as for Zack, who knows if he can hear anything. I turn from her when she walks in and back to Zack. The bruises on his face have started healing, turning from shades of deep purple to a light green and yellow. The bandages around his head have been removed and the scratches from hitting the glass are scabbing over now. If it wasn’t for his casted leg, he would look like he got in a small bar fight instead of a car accident.
Zack is off most pain medication now, and his breathing tube was removed yesterday. We continue to wait, very impatiently, until his brain recovers and he’s able to wake up on his own. Dr. Hassen stops by every day with no update to give. While his original MRI’s and scans indicate no potential damage, we won’t know anything until he regains consciousness. We were told it could take up to two weeks for him to wake up, and the doctors don’t seem at all concerned that he still hasn’t woken up yet.
I on the other hand, am getting desperate to see his sparkling green eyes. I don’t know if I can take another week of just waiting. And what will happen if he doesn’t wake up then? Then what would we do? I have been too afraid to ask the questions, but they replay constantly through my mind, while I try to force my will on him to wake up every single moment, of every single day.
“I brought you breakfast.” Mia’s voice chirps from behind me. “Eggs and bacon, your favorite.”
“Can we dial down the perkiness a notch?” I growl at