touched the glass with her fingertips, marveling that he was able to create a drawing that so closely resembled a photograph.
“I’m asleep,” she said, raising her gaze to his.
“You’re dreaming,” he replied with a smile.
“Looks like it’s a good dream. I’m smiling a little.”
“You’re glowing. I know it’s a good dream.” He brushed his fingertips across the frame and frowned. “I know you say that you don’t believe true love is for you and that there’s no such thing as forever. The problem is that I think you do believe in mermaids. I think someone hurt you and so you try to forget that you believe, but in your heart, you do.”
“I don’t understand.”
Damon raised his gaze to hers. “This is how you look when you whisper his name.”
Haley was shocked. She looked at the image and realized that was what made her look so different. She looked like a woman wildly in love—but she never saw herself with this expression because she locked it away.
And it was wrong. She’d been wrong. She didn’t love Garrett, not anymore. Maybe she hadn’t ever loved him as much as she’d believed. She’d loved the idea of him, or maybe the memory of him, but he didn’t hold her heart anymore.
“Garrett’s divorced,” she said without intending to do so. “He’s there.”
“Where the job is?” Damon asked, but didn’t wait for more than a nod. “Then it’s kismet.”
It was kismet, but it wasn’t Garrett who Haley loved.
It was Damon.
The wine came then and the moment when she could have told Damon the truth slipped away. He changed the subject after the waitress left, asking her where they’d lived when she was a kid, asking about her brothers and sister and her mom, avoiding every subject except the one she wanted to talk about.
He seemed to take her departure as a done deal, something beyond question. They rode the train home and walked to her apartment, Damon carrying the framed drawing. He left her at the door, giving a wave to Ninja, then looking into her eyes one last time. “Good luck, Haley,” he said, then walked away.
Haley watched him go, clutching the drawing to her chest, and couldn’t call him back. It turned out the one risk she was unable to take was asking Damon for what she wanted.
He hadn’t tried to convince her to stay.
He hadn’t tried to change her mind.
She knew that if she told him that she might be pregnant, he would do the right thing, but she wanted Damon to want her for herself, not for duty. She wanted him to be free to pursue his therapy, whatever it might be. She also wanted to be fair to their child, if there was going to be one. It was a mess, no matter how she looked at it, but Haley couldn’t regret anything about being with Damon.
Even if their relationship had made her life more complicated. She felt more alive. Damon had thawed her out and taught her to surrender to passion and impulse. He’d reminded her of what it was like to live and breathe and touch.
She’d give her notice when she went back to work on Monday.
Haley turned to unlock the security door, knowing that she’d made a hard choice but the right one. It still left her feeling as if she’d pulled up her anchor and was adrift, but that was just change.
It wasn’t about Garrett. It was about taking a good job. She’d start fresh.
Maybe she’d bring her child to meet his or her grandfather in a year.
Maybe she’d check in on Damon then.
It sounded like a million years in the future.
Fourteen
Nate planned his day at F5F with the precision of an invasion.
This was his best foreseeable chance to meet women and he was going to make it count.
He reasoned that women of his age would have jobs, so he chose a Saturday.
He thought about going when Damon was back from Boston, but couldn’t wait that long. He’d go in alone and it would be fine.
He pored over the class descriptions posted on the F5F website, seeking the ones most likely to have women enrolled. Pilates. Zumba. Spin. Aquafit. Yoga in all its variations: hatha, ashtanga, moksha, anusara, kundalini, bikram, and more. Maybe beginner would be better for him. He was drawn to the lap swim and the rock climbing wall, but figured it would be hard to talk to women in either. He was sure the weight rooms would be so well equipped that he’d