him,” I said, trying to break through the ice fucking wall that Delanie had erected between us.
Hell, at this point, I could tell that not only was there a wall, but she was busy building a moat as well.
“Umm,” she hesitated. “I actually don’t know. I’m going because I was called. The woman who was responsible for the phone call said that she was Governor Bryan’s secretary and that he would like to meet with me to discuss my program, funding, and a few other things.”
That morning I’d woken up, used the facilities, brushed my teeth, and had been out the door to work out before she’d even had a chance to wake up.
I’d gotten back to her still in bed and had taken a shower.
When I’d gotten out, I’d found her awake and on the terrace that overlooked Austin, drinking a cup of coffee that she must’ve made using the in-room coffeemaker.
After getting dressed, I’d made my own, all the while formulating a plan in my head for how this needed to go.
I’d decided to talk to her. To get her to possibly reconsider her writing me off.
Because I knew that she’d done it. When I’d walked out earlier, thinking that I would talk to her and feel her out, maybe discuss us, she’d been like a completely different person.
There were no more smiles. No more coy glances.
Nope. She stared out the window the entire way to where we were going and never once acknowledged me.
“So do you have breaks between your meetings?” I asked, after telling her what I had planned. “Do you want to try to meet for lunch?”
She shook her head. “No. I’ll just try to catch something in between meetings.”
I pulled over to the side of the building she would be going into, and when she went to bail out of the truck, I reached for her hand, stilling her progress.
“Wait,” I said softly.
She blinked and looked up.
“I heard what you said last night when you thought I was sleeping,” I murmured.
Her eyes widened slightly, and she shrugged. “It’s okay, Bourne. I know.”
“You know what?” I asked.
“I know that you don’t feel that way about me.”
That’s when I laughed in her face, which I was sure didn’t help her anger any.
But the thought of me not liking her? Of not having any feelings for her? That was laughable.
The problem was that I felt too much for her.
At least, that was what I thought before.
Now? Well, now I realized that my thoughts about her before were a bit foolish.
Maybe I was giving my importance too much weight.
Would anyone really even care that Delanie and I were together?
Because I honestly didn’t think so.
She tried to yank her hand out of my grip, but I tightened it slightly to keep her from leaving.
“No.” I suddenly sobered. “I do.”
“You do what?” she asked.
“I do have feelings for you,” I said. “A lot of feelings. Feelings that I feel… or felt like… that I shouldn’t have. But I’m done being a dumbass. I’m done. Do you understand?”
She blinked. “No.”
“I’m done acting like what I feel for you isn’t the reason that I’m happy that my sister has a house right next to you,” I said. “I’m done acting like you don’t matter. I’m done stopping by on the pretense that I want to see Asa. I love the kid to death, but you’re the reason I make so many trips out there. I want to see you just as much as I want to see him.”
She blinked, startled.
“I’m in love with you,” I told her bluntly. “Have been for a while. I was just too stubborn to allow myself to admit it.”
Her mouth parted as she blinked owlishly at me. “That’s… that’s insane, Bourne. You don’t love me.”
“I’m pretty sure I do,” I told her. “Because the thought of you pulling away? Of you treating me like you did for the drive over here and in the shower last night for the rest of my life literally makes my heart ache. I want to give us a try.”
She looked over at me, her eyes wide and slightly disbelieving.
“I’m still sleeping, aren’t I?” she said. “I’m having a nightmare.”
I burst out laughing again. “I told you I want to give us a try, and you think you’re having a nightmare?”
She shrugged, eyes serious. “I’m sure it’ll end with either you or me dying. Like, I’ll say yes. We’ll become blissfully happy, and then something will happen. You’ll die. I’ll die. And