The Jock by J.L. Beck Page 0,78

face Amanda. Every step I take, more dread spreads through my body. I’m already suffering, and I know she is only going to drive in the knife deeper. Then twist it and rub some salt on the gaping wound.

How did my life become so miserable?

I suck in a deep breath and let a mask of indifference slide onto my face before I push the door open.

Glancing inside the room, I realize Amanda is gone. Not only gone for the day, I mean, gone. The whole side of her room is empty. Relief washes over my like water onto the shore.

Dragging my feet, I step inside and shut the door behind me. I’m so exhausted, all I want to do is fall into my bed, but I have a class to go to, and I already skipped one yesterday, so I have no option but to show up.

So instead of curling up into a ball on my mattress like I want to do. I just change into different clothes, grab my book bag, and head back out.

The first class I have drags on, seemingly never-ending. I take notes on autopilot, my pencil moving over the paper, leaving words behind, but none of them make sense in my head.

When Professor Marley finally dismisses us, I briefly play with the thought of going home. I decide against it. I’m on a scholarship, I can’t miss class after class.

Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I walk out of the classroom.

I barely make it into the hall when I see him. I freeze. Every muscle in my body turns to stone as I take in Cage’s huge frame casually leaning against the wall.

Our eyes meet, and he straightens up. There are dark shadows under his eyes as if he slept just as terrible as I have the last three nights.

The world falls away around us. Passing students are merely a distant blur, and their chatters are muted. Right now, there is only room for him and me in my head. No one else exists in this small space.

Only when my lungs start to burn, do I realize I was holding my breath. I force myself to suck in air, and the sudden intake of oxygen has my head swimming.

He takes a step toward me, and that’s when my limbs unfreeze. I’m not ready to face him. Not ready for goodbyes.

I need to get away.

Dropping my heavy bag on the spot, I twist around and start running down the hall. Nothing matters more to me than getting away from him because seeing him and not being able to touch, knowing he isn’t mine any longer. It kills me. Rips my heart in two.

I don’t stop running until I’m in my dorm. My legs hurt from the run, not used to that kind of exercise. I’m able to hold the tears at bay all the way up to my room, but as soon as I lock the door behind me, the floodgates open. A gut-wrenching sob rips from my chest as I throw myself onto my bed.

Why does it have to hurt so bad?

Turning on my side, I curl up in the fetal position and let it all out. All the disappointment, all the anger, all the pain.

I wake up the next morning, still fully dressed. My eyelashes are crusted together, my mouth is dry, and there is a distinct pounding inside my skull. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I was out drinking the night before, but this isn’t a hangover I’m experiencing. This is heartbreak at its finest.

Getting up with a groan, I head to the bathroom for a quick shower.

After I get out, I wrap myself up in a large towel and brush my teeth. When I’m done with that, I feel slightly better.

I get ready for class on autopilot. Thankfully, I only have one to go to today.

Looking around for my bag, I realize I left it in the hallway yesterday.

Shit. Hopefully, someone took it to the lost and found. It has my books, most of my notes, my phone, and my wallet in there.

Crap, Crap. Crap.

Hurrying out the room, I trip and catch myself on the door’s edge as I almost fall over something sitting right in front of my door. I look down and find my bag.

Someone brought it to me. No, not someone. Cage.

Picking up my bag, I hold it to my chest. Looking down both sides of the hallway, I half expect him to be there, but the