The Jock by J.L. Beck Page 0,77
door, bag in hand.
“I know, but it’s easier if I go back to the dorms. All my stuff is there, and I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to get to and from campus.”
“I can drive you any time,” Lex chimes in. “You act like campus is three hours away. Plus, Sebastian loves my surprise visits.”
The smirk he gives me tells me otherwise.
“I really do appreciate you–”
I’m interrupted by a sound coming from the baby monitor sitting on the side table. A high-pitched wail filters through, reminding me of yet another reason why I need to leave.
They have a newborn. They are newlyweds. They are a family, and I am not part of that. I don’t belong here.
The question now is, where do I belong?
“I got to get the baby,” Jude tells me before giving me a quick hug. “Call me if you change your mind.” I nod and watch as she disappears into the hallway.
Lex holds the door open for me, and we walk out. Just like Cage, he is tall and muscular, which is no surprise since he is a personal trainer at a gym.
I throw my stuff in the trunk and get in the passenger seat.
“You should talk to him. Hear him out at least,” Lex says as he pulls out of the driveway.
“Why would you even say that? You don’t know him.”
“I know you. I see how miserable you are. And even though I don’t know him personally, I do know of him, and I know what kind of person he is.”
“And what kind is that?”
“Hard-headed, impulsive with anger issues, and a slightly broken moral compass.”
“Wow, you do know him.”
“Yeah, got a brother just like that. You’ve met Remington, haven’t you?” I had met him and his wife and their baby girl at Jude and Lex’s wedding. Remington didn’t look as if he had eyes for anyone but his wife.
“Yes, he seemed super nice though, nothing like you just described.” Seb, Lex, and Rem all seem similar to me. Kind, dedicated, protective. I could never see them hurting the women they love.
“See, here is the thing. People like him, they might be difficult, emotional, uncontrollable, and definitely do dumb things sometimes, but they’re also loyal, determined, and when they love, they love with all their heart. There is no half-ass bullshit love with men like that. Yeah, their mess-ups are of epic proportions, but so is their love.”
“If that was true, Cage wouldn’t be leaving me.”
“Look at it this way, his dad didn’t give him a choice. Maybe he was scared or felt like he had to go. Just talk to him. There is always more to the story than meets the eye.”
My body physically aches to be near Cage, but all I felt when he agreed to leave was loss, complete and utter loss.
“I don’t know, Lex. He’s leaving, and I feel like every minute I spend with him now will make our goodbye harder,” my voice cracks at the end. Just the thought is adding to the ache in my chest, to the ever-expanding hole Cage left.
There is no Band-Aid, no special pill I can take to make me forget. Forgetting is the only way I’ll be able to move on from this.
“Jude hates seeing you like this, and I do too. Please, promise me that you’ll at least think about it. Even if all it does is bring you closure.”
I nod, but I know good and well there is no closure for us. Cage is in my soul, like a vine, he is wrapped around my organs, and deep in my veins.
There is no happiness for me without him.
“It gets better. I had to wait a long time for Jude to come along, and our love story was never conventional. The best kind of love never comes easy, it takes work and patience.”
I take in his words, play with them in my head, but I don’t let them get through all the way because that would mean hope, and I’m too scared to take on even a little of that.
“Thanks for the ride, Lex,” I tell him as he pulls up to the curb. I feel bad that my mood has been so sour, and all I’ve done for the last few days is cry, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve got my bag and am out of the truck before Lex can say anything else.
Climbing the stairs up to my dorm room, I mentally prepare myself to