a cancer. I hate seeing her like this. Normally tears don’t get to me with women, but Blair upset, her eyes misty, fuck, it’s like someone is stepping on my balls.
“Want to watch a movie with me? Maybe order some sandwiches?” I ask, hoping to be able to distract her a bit. “There is a small bakery three streets down. It’s really good, and they actually deliver for lunch and dinner.”
“That sounds like exactly what I need right now.” She beams.
As soon as we get to my place, I order some food, and we get comfortable on the couch. She doesn’t sit close to me, which kind of pisses me off. I would honestly prefer to have her in my lap, but really, I just want her close.
I turn on an Adam Sandler movie, hoping to lighten her mood, but when I glance over at her, she isn’t even cracking a smile. Her arms are tightly wrapped around her torso, almost like she is hugging herself. She looks so lost...so sad.
“Blair,” I say, and her eyes find mine.
They are still red, and tears are already forming again behind her glasses. I scoot closer, wrap my arms around her waist, and pull her onto my lap.
Perfect. This feels perfect.
Her slender arms come around my neck, and she pulls me closer as well, almost as if she knows she needs the same thing. Burying my face in her hair, I breathe deeply, breathing her in, wanting to feel her deep in my lungs.
“I’m sorry I’m such a downer today. I promise it’s not your fault. I don’t want you to think this is about what we did… ah, yesterday.”
“I figured if it was because of that, you wouldn’t have called me, of all people, but I would really like to know what’s going on.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you. Maybe then you’ll understand why I am the way I am too.” She pauses and takes a deep breath as if she is getting ready to tell me her whole life story. The crazy part is, I want to hear it. I want to listen to her ramble and listen to her tell me some story about when she was a kid. I want to get to know her, to hear the good and bad times.
“Earlier, my brother called me telling me about my mom’s new boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend. He left her last night, cleared out her bank account with it.”
“Shit, that’s fucked up.”
“The worst part is that this is the kind of thing that happens to her all the time. It’s not even that shocking. Growing up, I watched my mom have a revolving door of men that never stayed, only used her, used us is more like it,” she grumbles before continuing, “my mom never learns, she falls for the same kind of guy over and over again. Every time it’s the same. The guy is nice and charming at first, inserts himself in our lives, then leaves, taking a little piece of my mom with him. That’s why I’m like this… broken because I’ve always told myself that I won’t be like her.”
Fuck, she was right. This does help me understand. This makes everything crystal clear. Now, I see her in a completely different light.
“That’s why you poured the beer over my head that night. Why you were so against getting to know me. Why you would rather hide in your room than go out and see the world, meet people, or maybe even a guy.”
She nods. “I don’t want to end up like my mom.”
“You won’t, Blair. I promise. I’ll make sure of it.”
And I will. I’ll do whatever I can to prove to her that she isn’t going to turn out like her mother. If she trusts me enough to tell me this, then I’ll do my best to make sure she never gets her heart broken.
17
Blair
In my haste to get out of the dorm, I didn’t even pack anything to wear to bed. I was more worried about my school stuff and clothes to wear to class, not to sleep.
Cage brought me to the guest room and gave me one of his shirts to wear after I told him about it. It’s so big on me, it looks more like a dress, but the fabric is super soft, and there is something nice about wearing his clothes. I feel closer to him, and every breath I take makes it seem as if he’s right here.
Taking off my glasses, I