but Koa is open with me as much as he can be about way things work.
I have accepted that there are aspects of the club he will never share with me. Not because I can’t be trusted, simply for my safety. The less I know, the better.
After learning everything I knew was basically spoon-fed garbage to brainwash my child mind, I am okay with not knowing shit.
Experiences.
I want experiences in life. I want to know something because I saw it, felt it, touched it, held it. All things I experience, not things I’m told.
I want to live this life for the here and now, not some Kingdom in the afterlife.
I don’t need to be an heir to anything. I don’t need a mansion. Hell, after wrecking Koa’s truck, I don’t even need a car.
I want to breathe every breath of air without fear that someone from the Jacobs clan will find me. I want to marry a man because I love him, and he makes me smile. I want a man who finds me beautiful and wants to build a life with me, not treat me as a brood mare, popping out babies as part of the following.
I want so much more, and that is the gift Amara gave me, but the gift I didn’t understand until Koa.
The way his every touch makes me feel alive is what I want. The way he lets me see him, really see him, when no one else gets that. The way I simply know I matter without a single word falling from his lips because it’s in the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he cares for me.
Mostly, the way he protects me.
Life landed us together in this weird place, in the strangest of ways, but I see it all as a gift for my faith.
My faith in myself.
Thirteen
Jinx
“I was quiet, but I was not blind.” Jane Austen – I’m a simple man, a quiet man, but I have never been a blind man. I see what is right in front of me and I’m not letting it go, Jinx
She has her arms tightly around my waist with her chest pressed to my back as the pavement passes under us. I make the turn into the parking lot and let out a sigh. While I want Talia to be here, I don’t want our ride to end.
This is a first for me.
Everything is so new with Talia. I love the expressions on her face each and every day. She has a passion for life that is infectious. It’s like she has never been able to relax, and suddenly, she can.
I give her that safety.
It fucking feels good.
She climbs off the bike with practiced ease. After securing our helmets, I take her by the hand and lead her right to his room. Pops sits at the table in his little kitchenette when we arrive. I walk in, and he immediately stands as I give him a hug.
“Who is this beautiful woman, Koa?” He smiles a smile that covers his entire face.
“Pops, this is Talia.”
He eyes grow wide in surprise. “Is she from the islands? I don’t remember a Talia when you were running the streets.”
I shake my head. “No, Pops. She’s not Polynesian. Just a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
“Ahh, my Kalini is the same. Come and sit,” he invites, taking a seat again.
I sit in the chair across from him and pull Talia to my lap.
“You’ve never brought a woman home before. She’s strong,” he states, studying Talia. “Your mother would like her. I feel it, Koa.”
I nod. I feel it too.
We visit with Pops for a bit, all with Talia relaxing more.
“How about your family, Talia?” Pops asks.
She sighs, “My family is complicated.”
“Well, I’m an old man with nothing but time. Life is complicated. Hell, at my age, even keeping track of the time is a challenge, so you can share, and I promise it doesn’t leave these walls.”
She begins to speak, and my mind is blown. “I grew up in North Dakota. My mother is the fifth wife of her cousin. My sister is my best friend. I was very sheltered, homeschooled, never off the property type of life. When my sister found out I was set to marry her husband, who is our uncle, and I was fourteen, she helped me escape. I’ve lived on the rails ever since.”
Pops remains quiet. “Childhood is a precious time. A time where life hasn’t yet tainted