I will be myself. Mr Rochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me – for you will not get it, any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all anticipate.’
‘What do you anticipate of me?’
‘For a little while you will perhaps be as you are now – a very little while; and then you will turn cool; and then you will be capricious; and then you will be stern, and I shall have much ado to please you: but when you get well used to me, you will perhaps like me again – like me, I say, not love me. I suppose your love will effervesce in six months, or less. I have observed in books written by men, that period assigned as the furthest to which a husband’s ardour4 extends. Yet, after all, as a friend and companion, I hope never to become quite distasteful to my dear master.’
‘Distasteful! and like you again! I think I shall like you again, and yet again: and I will make you confess I do not only like, but love you – with truth, fervour, constancy.’
‘Yet are you not capricious, sir?’
‘To women who please me only by their faces, I am the very devil when I find out they have neither souls nor hearts – when they open to me a perspective of flatness, triviality, and perhaps imbecility, coarseness, and ill-temper: but to the clear eye and eloquent tongue, to the soul made of fire, and the character that bends but does not break – at once supple and stable, tractable and consistent – I am ever tender and true.’
‘Had you ever experience of such a character, sir? Did you ever love such a one?’
‘I love it now.’
‘But before me: if I, indeed, in any respect come up to your difficult standard?’
‘I never met your likeness. Jane, you please me, and you master me – you seem to submit, and I like the sense of pliancy you impart; and while I am twining the soft, silken skein round my finger, it sends a thrill up my arm to my heart. I am influenced – conquered; and the influence is sweeter than I can express; and the conquest I undergo has a witchery beyond any triumph I can win. Why do you smile, Jane? What does that inexplicable, that uncanny turn of countenance mean?’
‘I was thinking, sir (you will excuse the idea; it was involuntary), I was thinking of Hercules and Samson5 with their charmers—’
‘You were, you little elfish—’
‘Hush, sir! You don’t talk very wisely just now; any more than those gentlemen acted very wisely. However, had they been married, they would no doubt by their severity as husbands have made up for their softness as suitors; and so will you, I fear. I wonder how you will answer me a year hence, should I ask a favour it does not suit your convenience or pleasure to grant.’
‘Ask me something now, Janet – the least thing: I desire to be entreated—’
‘Indeed I will, sir; I have my petition all ready.’
‘Speak! But if you look up and smile with that countenance, I shall swear concession before I know to what, and that will make a fool of me.’
‘Not at all, sir; I ask only this: don’t send for the jewels, and don’t crown me with roses: you might as well put a border of gold lace round that plain pocket-handkerchief you have there.’
‘I might as well “gild refined gold.”6 I know it: your request is granted then – for the time. I will remand the order I despatched to my banker. But you have not yet asked for anything; you have prayed a gift to be withdrawn: try again.’
‘Well then, sir, have the goodness to gratify my curiosity, which is much piqued on one point.’
He looked disturbed. ‘What? what?’ he said hastily. ‘Curiosity is a dangerous petition: it is well I have not taken a vow to accord every request—’
‘But there can be no danger in complying with this, sir.’
‘Utter it, Jane: but I wish that instead of a mere inquiry into, perhaps, a secret, it was a wish for half my estate.’
‘Now, King Ahasuerus!7 What do I want with half your estate? Do you think I am a Jew-usurer, seeking good investment in land? I would much rather have all your confidence. You will not exclude me from your confidence if you admit me to your heart?’
‘You are welcome to all my confidence that is