well.
“Why is it that men like to have their fun, but can’t imagine that women deserve it, too?” she objected.
“That’s not what I’m sayin—”
“You’re sayin’ that you can be as audacious as you want. And because you’re a man, it’s all gonna be forgiven.”
“Have you ever seen me drunk enough to yell at a bar?”
“I’ve never seen you drunk enough at all.” She giggled.
“Well, maybe it’s because I don’t let it get to that?”
“I’ll teach you how to loosen up,” she said suggestively.
And that was that.
I never wanted to speak with her again. Not because she was not willing to change her ways, but because she was beginning to plot to have me change mine.
And I am beyond done changing for anyone. I am too old, too accomplished, and too comfortable with who I am to attempt something as futile as altering my personality or preferences to fit someone else’s.
They say people change. Yes, they do, unintentionally, because of life events and things that are thrown their way. They evolve, in a sense. But I don’t believe that they can actually influence much of the change.
I can’t just simply tailor myself to suit her needs—or anyone’s needs for that matter.
Out in the driveway, I draw a deep breath and realize that the humidity is rather high. I’m greeted by Buck who’s walking over with a curious face.
“Mornin’.” He tugs on Flint’s lead and smiles.
“Mornin’, how’s everythin’?”
“All right. Wasn’t Miss Frances just here? I let ‘er in myself. Where’d she go?”
“She came in through the gates?” I tilt my head before leaping atop my horse.
“How else, boss?” He gives me a puzzled look, shrugging.
“Right.” I stifle a remark about how she encroached onto the property just yesterday. “Well, she had to be somewhere.”
“So fast?”
I didn’t like the skeptical look on his face.
“I’m late, Buck.” My exasperation starts to show. “Is there a point here?”
“No, no.” He shrugs, rolls his eyes, and turns away, and I think I hear him babble, “Suit yourself.”
Not having the luxury of time to waste, I decide to ignore his comment and ride on, heading straight for a belated morning round before I wind up locked inside my shed to do more paperwork and budgeting.
The sun is warmer than usual, and beads of sweat start rolling down my face from under the hat. This day just doesn’t agree with me.
Deliberations of a sweaty encounter with Belle resurface, but this time, they’re tainted with the unfortunate incident from earlier.
I don’t have her number. I don’t know where she lives. And if I ask around, it would be far too obvious to whomever I question that I’m chasing after her.
In a small town like this, people love nothing more than to talk. God knows I’ve had my fair share of being on the tips of their tongues for months. The last thing I want is to be put back under the spotlight of their gossip.
Shaking the thought out of my head, I wonder how Buck knows her name. Did she speak with him? Did she introduce herself?
I know I’ve been withdrawn from most of the town’s activities and social obligations for months, so much so that I no longer know who’s who. But I’m sure I’ve never seen Belle before. A woman like that, I would have remembered.
Rushing through the rounds, I instruct my men to take the lead on everything and leave me undisturbed for the rest of the day.
Finally, I slow down at my office and lead Flint toward the shade. As I make sure that he has enough food and water, I negotiate with my mind to engross itself in the mundane tasks ahead and forget about Belle, even if only for a few hours.
As soon as I walk in, I feel the dimness and coolness as a welcome change from the heat outside. Undoing the first couple of buttons on my shirt, I flop down onto the chair behind my desk. Uncomfortably fidgeting for a moment, I didn’t know where to start.
I wipe the sweat from my forehead with my sleeve.
Was I supposed to go after her?
Should I not have let her go?
Stop it, Jake.
Thoughts of Belle and my lost chances are going to be the ruin of this day for me.
Angry, I pull the first file from the stack and my eyes start running over the numbers and letters. Mindlessly, my hand grabs a pen and I fiddle with it in the air as I try to focus.
I have no luck with that.
The phone