around.
“Ah, it was inevitable,” she says. “When I moved here in sixth grade, I got assigned to the desk right in front of his. He used to sit and play with my hair.”
Okay, that’s adorable. “Seriously?”
“Mm-hmm. First day of school, I sat down in front of him, and within thirty seconds, he’d picked up my braid and said, ‘Wow, it’s like golden silk!’ ”
I laugh.
“Needless to say, once I turned around and saw how cute he was, I started wearing it loose. We totally lost our virginity to each other in tenth grade, but it took until the beginning of eleventh for us to get together, together,” she says. “People can still be a little weird about the interracial thing.”
You didn’t tell me he was a white boy, Rico. “Yep.” Though is Zan actually white? I still don’t know….
She starts the second coat of blue on my right hand. “I’d ask how things are going with Zan,” she says, “but I have a feeling you’re not sure yet?”
I don’t respond. Because she’s right. And I know that despite just sharing my deepest, darkest secret, confessing the more-than-partners-in-quest stuff I’ve been feeling toward Zan will make it that much more real. Not sure I want to deal with that yet.
Then again, I guess I did admit it to him….
Why do I get such a strong feeling of impending doom when I start thinking about this?
Jess hasn’t said anything else—guess she’s waiting on me to respond. Man, I hope this doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass….“I mean, I definitely like him—”
“But money,” she says without looking up from my hand.
“Huh?”
“It’s the money thing, right?” She puts some quick-dry drops on each nail and then blows on my fingertips; it gives me a shiver. “Like you don’t really feel worthy?”
I’m instantly hot. “That’s one way to put it.”
“I get it, dude. I really do. Will you do my right hand?” She pulls a bottle of black polish from the desk drawer. “Remember how you asked me if I ever felt out of place around the people I hang out with?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“That was one of the reasons it took so long for me and Ness to get together,” she says. “I couldn’t fathom somebody with so much money wanting anything to do with my P.W.T. ass.”
“P.W.T.?”
“Poor white-trash.”
“Ah.”
Of course this makes perfect sense—hello, I’m living it (minus the white-trash part)—but it’s jarring to hear it put so bluntly. “How’d you get past it?”
“I didn’t,” she says. “Probably never will. Even if we wind up married and I make more money than he does—and I plan to, thank you very much—it won’t change the fact that when we visit his parents, we’ll be coming here.” She gestures around the room. “But visiting my mom will probably always involve some tiny apartment that reeks of booze and cigarette smoke.”
“Jess, if this is supposed to be a pep talk, you’re failing miserably.”
She laughs. “It’s true, though,” she says. “I still feel weird when he buys me stuff or pays for me when we go out on dates. I just choose not to let it rule me, you know? I know like…society or whatever suggests otherwise, but my value as a human being has nothing to do with money.”
This makes me giggle. “You sound like my mom’s self-help books.” That don’t seem to do much for her.
“Three and a half years of therapy for this shit. Bottom line, Ness couldn’t care less about the difference in our parents’ bank accounts, so if it comes between us, it’s on me.”
I sigh.
She has a point, but still. Zan’s on like a whole different level.
“It’d be pretty sad to miss out on a good thing because of a bunch of bullshit, wouldn’t it?”
She lifts her hand and blows on her nails.
To call Tehlor Macklin’s wedding to Chadwick Montgomery lavish would be understated to the point of absurdity. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many fresh flowers or things that sparkle under one roof.
Finesse is a groomsman. King, as I hear multiple people refer to the groom, is his older cousin. But he (Ness) spends most of the ceremony sneaking glances at Jess, who looks beyond incredible in her low-cut maroon gown and elbow-length black gloves. Even I’m struggling not to stare at her.
Then there’s Alexander Gustavo Macklin, looking every bit the million-dollar magnate his name implies, in his ultra-debonair charcoal tux. It’s got the same bedazzling effect on his green eyes as Jess’s smoky-eye/vamp-lip makeup has on