I felt. I didn’t want to heap anymore guilt on his shoulders, and I wasn’t sure he would understand why I wanted to go somewhere else.
He was the sort of person who always faced his fears. He wasn’t afraid to take on any enemy or threatening situation. I suspected his extremely difficult childhood had made him so brave and resolute. It was one of the things I loved most about him. He was utterly steadfast and true. There was nothing and no one he wouldn’t fight for me.
Except I didn’t want him to have to fight anyone ever again. Just as he wanted to keep me safe, I wanted the same for him. I wanted him to leave that part of his life where it belonged: in the past. If he went looking for trouble, he would find it—and then what? What would happen to the life we were building together? To our marriage? Our business? The children we wanted?
I couldn’t live with one foot in both worlds the way Vivian did. She seemed to have been born to be a mafia don’s wife. She moved elegantly and easily through her life as a wealthy businessman’s wife one minute and a ruthless mob boss’s woman the next. She kept a beautiful home, painted incredible works and loved her husband with the sort of fierceness that could be terrifying. There was a steely hardness to her that other people didn’t see. Nikolai might be the one who was known for his merciless control of the underworld, but it was Vivian who posed the greatest danger to anyone who threatened her family.
“Nisha is going to see us both at the same time,” Lena said as she slid onto the sofa in the space next to me. “She has a new girl she’s training who is going to take most of my appointment. She worked on my hair the last time I was in Nisha’s chair so I’m comfortable with it.”
“Thank you, Lena. I really appreciate it.”
“It’s the least I can do.” She reached out to swipe a beautifully manicured finger down Sophia’s chubby little cheek. “I think I might actually want to have more than one of these.”
I snorted softly. “You can’t even say the word baby?”
“I don’t want to jinx myself.” She held Sophia’s hand and seemed to marvel at her tiny fingers. “I’d rather not walk down the aisle with a beach ball belly.”
“You’d still be a beautiful bride.”
“But I wouldn’t fit into the dress I picked, and it’s the dress.”
The whirlwind trip to New York City to find that couture gown had been some of the most fun I had had in ages. Yuri had splashed out on the best of everything, putting us up in a penthouse with an incredible view of Central Park and arranging the hardest to get tickets to Broadway shows and reservations at the hottest restaurants. I shuddered to think what it must have cost him to send the five of us girls all that way. The price tag on the gown was scary enough!
“What about your...?” Her gaze lowered to my flat belly. “Any progress?”
I shook my head. “Aunt Flo is in town.”
“I’m sorry,” she said softly and gave my hand a squeeze. “My offer still stands.”
A few months earlier, she had offered to be a surrogate if the issue keeping us from getting pregnant was something to do with my womb. It wasn’t an offer she made lightly, and I had no doubt that if I came to her and asked her to carry a baby for me, she would drop everything to make it happen. It was times like this that she proved what a big, selfless heart she had.
“Benny just had a great idea,” Vivian announced. “We should all meet up for brunch the morning after the gala.”
“Not at Samovar,” Lena said, wrinkling her nose.
“Why not?” Vivian bristled.
“We always eat at your restaurant.”
“No, we don’t,” Vivian argued.
Lena dramatically rolled her eyes and started to list off all the times we had met at Nikolai’s famed restaurant for shared meals. As the two bickered back and forth, I shared an amused smile with Benny and let my thoughts turn back to Ivan and the meeting in his office. What the hell are they talking about in there?
Chapter Four
Worried that Erin might be overwhelmed by all of the people who had descended on their house, Ivan glanced at his watch for the second time in the last ten minutes and wondered how