It's My Life - Stacie Ramey Page 0,60

Busy planning for how to deal with this next part. Mom comes in a couple of times to bring us more stuff to eat and drink, but really I think she just likes to see Ben and me hanging out.

Eventually, Ben says, “You know what I’m thinking? Maybe we watch Cyrano.”

I make a face. Hate that movie. “We’re that desperate?”

Ben grabs some Doritos. “We may be.”

“But you’ll figure it out?”

“Of course.”

I stare at my cell.

Where are you, Elsa?

You don’t want to meet me?

I only make it through ten minutes of Cyrano until I insist we switch to Enchanted.

“So?” I ask Ben. “What have we learned from our research?”

“Hmmm. I’m stumped. Not one of these will work. But damn, it was a fun afternoon. And I’m so glad I didn’t even start on my AP Psych project, which, by the way, is due Friday.”

“You said you’d help me.”

“And help you, I will. The truth is you’ll just have to come clean and hope for the best.”

“Tell him? Gulp.”

“Well, don’t just spring it on the boy, but yeah. Tell him. Maybe he already knows. Maybe he suspects, at least.”

I chew on an organic white cheddar cheese puff. “Maybe.”

“Don’t look so down, Elsa.”

I make a face at him for using Julian’s nickname for me. “I’m worried.”

“Don’t be. I’ve seen this movie before. Tell him at the dance. What could go wrong?” He shrugs.

I hit him. “You know whenever you say that, a whole lot of stuff goes wrong.”

“Yeah. But that’s what makes your story so much fun.”

“I’m glad I can entertain you. Also, I’ll be so gorgeous with this big ol’ cast on.” I smack my leg.

“You’ll be gorgeous in navy lace.” Ben picks at my hair. “Maybe we should look at a different cut?”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing. Just maybe you should do a total makeover, really give the boy something to contemplate?”

“I don’t know.”

“I do. Go big or go home.” He throws a chip into his mouth and presses play. He puts his arm around me. “Okay. One more movie.”

* * *

9:13 P.M.

So now I’m really worried.

What about?

What if you hate me.

Laughing so hard I’m crying emoji. I know you. You don’t know me. I’m the one who should be worried.

It still feels scary. I’ve really gotten used to these talks. You know?

Yeah.

And we are so great together. Like this.

So maybe we shouldn’t meet.

Nah. This story doesn’t end this way.

So you like stories now?

What can I say? You’ve got me hooked.

Tell me, does this story have a twisty ending? I like those.

No idea. But I have been thinking.

About?

You. And me. Separately. And also together.

Confusing!

Well, we were talking about what we wanted to be when we grow up and I realized something about myself.

I like being outdoors. I like the woods. I like plants and trees and animals. Dorky, huh?

Not dorky.

So I want to do something outdoors. Park ranger or something. Does that make me sound like I’m five years old?

I think it’s nice. I could definitely see that.

I was worried you would think it was stupid.

So now you’re all solved and I’m still a big blank.

Really? I thought you’d want to do something with books.

Whoa. How has that never occurred to me? Like what, though?

Like a librarian?

Editor?

Maybe. Wow.

Writer?

Me, a writer? I’ll think about it.

Since everything is going to change when we meet, let’s enjoy a few more days of this.

Ok.

Shark week, yay or no?

I could do Jaws.

Now you ask me a question.

Starbucks or Dunkin.

Neither.

My heart.

But I’d gladly take you.

Heart emoji.

Is that for me or the coffee?

Both. Obviously. Smiley face.

New Year’s Eve or Thanksgiving?

Both. If I got to spend them with you.

Heart emoji.

What color?

What color heart emoji?

Yes. It matters. Red hearts are for love, yellow for friendship. Pink for innocence.

I didn’t know you were such an expert.

Well, I am. And you’re stalling. What color?

Hmmm. I think blue.

What do blue hearts mean?

It means we’ll see.

I’ll take it. Blue heart emoji back at you.

Twenty-Two

Mom is bustling around, happier than I’ve seen her in ages. Both of her daughters are going to the Hockey Homecoming. I’m sort of surprised Rena wants to go; it’s not usually her deal. But she slings an arm around me and says, “It’s a family thing.” So.

Rena’s dressed in a maroon dress that has a sequined tank top and a ton of maroon tulle. Dad’s going to freak when he sees her because it’s pretty short. Mine is a two-piece navy lace dress. The top is embroidered with navy blue flowers and has sheer sleeves. The skirt is navy tulle,