of sticks hitting the puck, the boards vibrating. All of these things feel like my childhood, watching Eric play…and also Julian. I’m in heaven, and I mostly forget about the pain.
Julian gives me a sweet smile when I get to the bench, but then directs his attention to the opposing team. Eric hands me a blanket to put on my lap. Julian sees Eric, and man, do his eyes light up. The two of them do the bro-hug thing.
“Glad to have you back, man,” Eric tells Julian.
He’s got no idea.
The coach calls for the players. They crowd around him. Eric sits next to me. The game’s about to start, and the feeling around me is electric.
Julian’s got the first shift. I watch breathlessly as they drop the puck, and he chases after it. Chip wins the face-off. Julian skates parallel to him as they race to the opposing goal. Our fans are on their feet. Chip passes the puck to Julian. He shoots, and Danbury’s goalie catches it in his big glove.
“Damn.” Rena grabs my hand. “So close.”
One of our defenders steals the puck and passes it back to Chip. Chip handles it, moving past Danbury’s players.
Eric yells, “Center, center, center!”
A Danbury defender, huge guy, checks Chip into the boards and the puck flies center. Julian fights for possession, slamming his body against a crowd of Danbury players. There’s a tight circle, and sticks fly. I hold my breath. Somehow Julian emerges, puck dancing in front of his stick. Rena squeezes my hand. The air changes around us, like everyone knows. Julian’s got a breakaway. He handles the puck all the way down in the front of the goal. He winds his stick back, and it’s like time stops and everything freezes. I watch Julian, stick raised, then sloping downward and back up, the puck whizzes past the goalie, over his right shoulder. Score!
Eric screams, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Our stands go wild. Rena and I jump around.
I feel the stands behind me thunder as our fans stomp and scream, and it’s a slippery feeling. Slippery but exciting. Julian skates back to the bench. Sits with a thump. He’s breathing hard and grabs his water. Chip pats him on the back. So does the coach. Julian leans forward and watches until it’s his line’s time to get back on the ice.
The team is fired up, and so is Eric. He alternates between jumping on the bench and climbing the stands to help Ben and his friends lead the cheers. Rena stays sitting next to me, which is sort of unlike my social butterfly little sister, but I can’t say I mind.
Three guys sit down on the bench next to us, leaving no more room for Julian when his line comes off the ice. He stands and scans the crowd. Looking for her, I guess. I don’t bother to get jealous this time. Real me has spent all evening with the boy. It’s Elsa’s turn now.
When it’s time to go, I’m weary and sore. A night in the bleachers after a full day at school makes my muscles scream, and even with the blanket, I am cold. Every freaking part of my body hurts, as if I was just on the ice playing and getting beaten up. So all I’m thinking is that I want to go home and go to bed.
But the hockey players are still celebrating, and that means Eric’s not going anywhere. They run into the box, jump on him, he follows them out to the ice, even without skates.
“Idiot,” Rena says, but she says it like she’s envious. Who wouldn’t want to be celebrating with our players? Turns out everyone would, which is why the stands on our side are emptying, people slipping and sliding all over the ice. I’m dizzy watching them, so cold it hurts, but also so wanting to be part of it.
“You can go,” I tell Rena. If I was her, I would want to be where the action is.
“Are you kidding? I’d be taking my life in my hands. Those people are nuts.” She leans against me, and her warmth feels so good. But then Chip comes back into the box and grabs Rena by the hand and pulls her until she squeals and goes along.
I sit here watching all of this beautiful chaos. I don’t want to be part of it, exactly, but I’m still sad I’m missing out. It reminds me that I’m separate from them. I pull the blanket around myself,