she threw on some clothes and left the house by a side-door, running across the grass towards the trees.
Deep in the wood she gave vent to her grief, crying like a wounded animal, and even once banging her head against a tree, screaming, ‘Why—why—why?’
Why? Because he loves her and not you. Because she’s beautiful and dazzling and you’re dull and ordinary. Because all the money in the world isn’t enough to make him want you.
When it was over she felt no better, just completely exhausted. She sank to the ground, leaning back against a tree trunk, whispering hoarsely, ‘Why did I do it? Why did I give him up so easily? When we were married I could have made him love me.’
The regret made her start to weep again, but this time weakly, in helpless, devastating misery.
After an hour she dragged herself to her feet and stumbled out of the wood, desperate to get back to the house before the sun came up, and she could be seen.
She managed it, thankful that nobody had seen her, and ran up the back stairs until she reached the floor where her room was. She was almost there—the next corridor—
‘Joanna!’
Her worst nightmare came true. Gustavo stood there in his dressing gown, astonished at the sight of her.
‘Whatever has happened to you?’ he said, concerned. ‘You’ve been out in that rain?’
‘It wasn’t raining when I went out,’ she said, struggling for words.
‘But it’s been raining for an hour.’
‘I walked a long way. I needed some air. It took time to get back.’ She had no idea what she was saying.
‘You’re hurt,’ he said, looking at her forehead.
‘I fell,’ she gasped. ‘I hit my head on a log.’
‘You need a doctor. Let me—’
‘Keep away from me.’
He was reaching gentle fingers towards her bruise, but she knew if he touched her she’d start screaming again.
‘Your teeth are chattering,’ he said, his hand falling. ‘Go and have a hot bath or you’ll catch cold. My dear, you’ve got water dripping from your hair and over your face.’
The water on her face wasn’t rain. He stood there looking at her tears and didn’t know it.
‘Please look after yourself,’ he said. ‘I don’t want you being too unwell for my wedding tomorrow, not when I owe it all to you.’
The warmth in his voice was her undoing. She fled to her own room and locked the door. Tearing off her clothes, she got under a hot shower and stayed there, not moving, just leaning against the tiled wall.
After a long time her brain started working again, enough to make her wonder how he’d come to be in that corridor at that hour. Then she remembered that it was near to where Crystal slept.
She’d thought her tears were all cried out, but she found she was wrong. This time it was the shower that disguised them.
Next day she sat in the body of the church, looking at Gustavo’s back as he waited for his bride, then saw him turn and watch her approach with an expression of such total adoration that she closed her eyes. For a dreadful moment she actually feared she was going to faint, but she recovered and sat rigid as Crystal became his wife.
Now he was lost to her forever.
But he’d been lost anyway. Her regret of last night had been foolish. He might have married her, but he would never, ever have loved her.
The reception was followed by a ball at which she danced until she was ready to drop. That was how she met Freddy Manton, who seemed to appear from nowhere, a friend of a friend of a friend. He was handsome, charming and a great dancer. Their steps blended perfectly, and they put on a bravura display that made the others applaud.
When the music became soft and tender Joanna and Freddy danced again, holding each other romantically close. It was her way of telling the world that she didn’t care whom Gustavo married. She hoped he would notice.
But when he waltzed past with Crystal clasped in his arms, Joanna knew that he was oblivious to everyone else in the world. His bride’s face was raised to his, and for a cruel moment Joanna saw the worship in his gaze. She closed her eyes, feeling her brave pretence shatter around her.
At last it was time for the bride and groom to leave for their honeymoon. Joanna had wanted to go straight to Italy, but Crystal had set her heart on Las Vegas, and