Lansburg, Pennsylvania, which I’m temporarily calling home.
NASH: We all want to know, what exactly happens when you’re abducted.
OSWALD: It begins with waking to a kind of glow around me. Light fills the room ’til it consumes everything—even me. When I reach full awareness again, I’m in a spherical room with white walls. There’s nothing in the room but the chair I’m sitting on. I’m not restrained in any perceivable way, yet I can’t move.
NASH: Mm-hmm, go on…
OSWALD: I’m approached by a Visitor. Sometimes one, sometimes several. They have skin like soft gray leather, and their eyes are large and black. They have mouths, but they never speak to me with them.
NASH: But they have spoken to you in some way?
OSWALD: They most certainly have. They have a device almost like a needle attached to a long tube. They push that needle into my head right at the temple, maybe all the way to my brain. They’re able to communicate with me then.
NASH: These Visitors, as you call them, they’ve given you a mission?
OSWALD: They’ve taught me how to combine Earth ingredients with alien technology to create what one might call “the fountain of youth.” An extract that, when regularly taken, will prevent aging.
NASH: And you’ve been tasked with making this product?
OSWALD: The prototype is complete and I’ll be ready to unveil the finished version in a few short weeks.
NASH: Did you hear that, listeners? Soon enough, we can all experience this alien miracle product! Why don’t you tell everyone what you call it?
OSWALD: The health drink is called myTality Elixir ETernia.
NASH: With a capital ET on ETernia, is that right?
OSWALD: You got it.
NASH: And where can our listeners find this product?
OSWALD: It can be purchased through any of our myTality distributors for the low cost of $15.99 per ounce. Of course, if someone signs up for our compensation plan and becomes a distributor themselves, they’ll get a lifetime discount…
Event: Oswald’s Rally (Cont.)
Cass and Arden declared me “boring” when I refused to talk to Oswald after his sermon. He’d descended from the observation deck and was immediately swarmed by people trying to get close to their new prophet.
“He’s busy anyway,” I said. Besides, I’d rather not risk him cornering me again.
“Let’s just go over for a minute,” Cass insisted.
“Why? What could you possibly have to say to that man?”
“He’s probably the strangest person to ever pass through Lansburg. And these days, that’s saying a lot. How could I not be fascinated?”
I was even losing my best friend to Oswald. He was taking everything from me.
“Fine. Go talk to him. I’ll meet up with you later.”
I stalked away from Cass and Arden before they tried to convince me otherwise.
Laser still vaped in front of Super Scoop, though the crowd around her had thinned. I moved in that direction.
“Can you believe this shit?” she asked, gesturing with her e-cig. She snorted. “Alien fountain of youth.”
“Indeed,” I said, pleased that I wasn’t the only anti-Oswald person in town after all.
I moved toward the door of Super Scoop, but Laser blew out a plume of vapor and held up a hand to stop me. “He doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“What?”
“You’re going in there because Owen’s working. And I’m warning you, he doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“I see,” I mumbled, and slunk off in the other direction.
I was mortified. I didn’t realize Laser paid attention to what went on between Owen and me. If she knew about our relationship and our fight, everyone must.
The whole town probably thought I was a jerk. A jerk bad boyfriend who couldn’t create alien scandals nearly as enticing as J. Quincy Oswald did. A jerk who had no social skills, who couldn’t drive, who probably wasn’t going to get into MIT because his grades continued to slip.
Shame churned inside of me. It was bad enough to fail. Having everyone know about my failure was something else entirely.
“Gideon,” someone called from in front of Ye Olde Fudge Shoppe.
I looked over to an unpleasant sight.
“Agent Ruiz,” I said, trying to keep my tone even, to hide that my heart rate had doubled. “Did you come to watch the spectacle?”
“I did,” he said in his own even tone.
“What did you think?” I said as if we were acquaintances making small talk.
“I’m more curious what you thought,” Ruiz replied.
“Well, I don’t think there’s a fountain of youth, that’s for sure.”
“But the alien parts—you believed that, right?”
I hated how casual Ruiz seemed, when I knew he was anything but. There was an intensity