my mind, I could see him rub at his chin, dark, thick eyebrows furrowed over a nose broken multiple places, multiple times. “He’s not dead…yet.”
I let out a breath. “I was told by my Handler Elder Chang wanted me back at the Sanctuary.”
“I don’t know anything about that, but you are not needed. If Elder Chang needed to see you, then he’s certainly in no position to meet with you. We will get a hold of you when we need you.”
It sounded like a dismissal. “But I —”
“Stay safe.”
“Wait a mi—”
The empty, banal dial tone was my only reply and I slipped the phone back in my back pocket, unsure of just how to progress.
I hated uncertainty.
Always I had a plan, or someone did and I followed it.
What was the plan now?
Watery sunlight filtered through the trim, meticulously cleaned home and as was my habit, I made a cursory inspection of the house. You can call me paranoid, but it helped to know the potential number of entrances.
Should something happen, that is.
And that was the kicker.
With Elder Chang incapacitated, Jason exhibiting deviant behavior and Adrian all but dragging me back to the Sanctuary, I felt thin, punched to the ground, about as substantial as a shadow in the middle of a summer day.
“Something is bothering you.”
Jason, wreathed in shadows and darkness, stood in the safety of his doorway, the door cracked to just a few inches, to let in the minimum of sunlight. Beyond him, I could see nothing, just a pitch black darkness that made me wonder just how well he had prepared for his transformation into the Underworld.
I shook my head and held out the credit card. “Don’t worry about it. I have a phone.”
He stared at the card for a moment and then met my gaze. “Keep it. You might need it in the future.”
Much as I didn’t like being dependent on other people, I could see his reasoning. After all, he was forced to stay indoors and I would have to feed myself, transport myself in the daylight. “So, in effect, I am your Renfield.”
His face was emotionless although I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. “In effect, yes. I apologize for the change in plans. I had not anticipated…”
“You hadn’t anticipated on enjoying vampires more than humans?”
Perhaps my voice was just that much harsh, but I couldn’t help the note of resentment from entering my voice.
He looked away.
“I can’t do this without you.”
I can’t do this without you.
I didn’t know why his words affected me. “You’ve said that before.”
I squirmed under his calm gaze.
“So I did. You have a great deal of honor. You would not dare go back on an oath. Your pride and yet your downfall. I’m going to hold you to your promise. This is a job, but it’s one you can’t let go, not easily. In a way, I’m sorry, Ran. This wasn’t how I thought events would unfold.”
I couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken so long. “You’re using me.”
A flicker of pain ran across his pale features. “Plainly speaking, yes, I am.”
I wished he didn’t look so uncomfortable. To see the multitude of emotions in his face, in his eyes, it was hard to reconcile this image of Jason to the previous one, the confident one, the one with all the answers.
“It’s ironic,” I said quietly. “You seem more human than ever.”
He licked his lips and a sharpened canine glinted in the darkness. “Yes, funny, isn’t it? The way life seems to work.”
I watched him watching me and felt as though I stood at a precipice, the fog too thick to see beyond or below.
Uncertainty. I hated it more than I hated pauses.
“So.”
“Yes?”
He leaned against the door, arms crossed, feet bare. It was an oddly intimate moment and I came to the conclusion that I had never been around Jason in such a state of dishabille, not counting the time when an assassin decided to take his life.
Another mystery, but not one I would visit at the moment.
But soon.
Soon.
“What will you do now?”
He rubbed his temple in a thoughtful manner. “Originally, I was meant to be presented as Reiko’s latest protegee, a possible successor to the House. Unfortunately, that path is now closed to me. She would not dare present me, not at the risk of her life. There is somewhat an antiquated idea that once a Domina makes…” he smiled bitterly. “Something like me, there is a chance she can make another. Something in the saliva, the