sank to his knees. He couldn’t bear to see the pain in Navid’s features. He hugged Navid’s hips and laid his head on his thighs.
“No, my darling. No. It’s not your fault. Nothing is ever your fault.” Navid froze in his arms. He didn’t say anything, so Zana continued. “Don’t beg me for forgiveness when it’s me who’s been in the wrong. You didn’t deserve my anger.”
“I do deserve it.” Navid’s voice was only a whisper. “Caleb disobeyed you, and I couldn’t stop him. I didn’t know what to do to stop him…I failed you.”
“Caleb’s choice is not your fault.”
“It is. I raised him. It was my duty to prepare him for marriage and help him find a husband you could be proud of.”
“There’s no duty. You owe me nothing. Navid, you made Caleb a great man. He’s clever and kind. And if someone is to blame, it’s me. I gave him freedom, and then I was surprised he took it.”
Navid wore linen trousers, too thin for the night chill. Zana ran his palms up and down Navid’s thighs, trying to warm him up at least a little.
Laying his cheek on Navid’s leg, he spoke, “I was livid when Caleb and Nathaniel told us. The claiming was audacious. And Nathaniel isn’t who I would’ve chosen for our son. But he’s an intelligent man, and he loves Caleb deeply. He was rude to me—much like I had been to your father.” Now when he thought of it, it almost made Zana chuckle. Almost. The guilt lay heavy in his stomach, overshadowing any other emotion. Navid’s hands dove into his hair, and Zana squeezed his eyes shut. “I thought you were angry, like me. That you avoided me because you wanted to be left alone. Instead, you needed me the most. I should’ve been listening. I should’ve been paying attention.”
“I lied to you,” Navid whispered.
“In twenty-seven years, you’ve lied to me once. Once, Navid. Has any man ever had a more faithful and loyal husband?” Zana tightened his arms around him. “You thought you needed to protect Caleb from me, that you were saving our family. I’m to blame. Had I talked to you, had I been there for you, you wouldn’t have needed to deceive me. But I neglected you and left you alone when you were hurting. I scolded you and raised my voice at you, but I was wrong.” He took a deep breath and straightened on his knees, catching Navid’s hands in his. “It’s me who’s begging for your forgiveness. I was unjust and angry. I hurt you.”
Navid stared at their joined hands.
“Navid, look into my eyes.”
He lifted his gaze, and in the night lights, his eyes glistened.
“Forgive me, please.” Navid’s chin trembled at Zana’s words. “I love you. You’re my treasure and always will be. I love you.” He kissed Navid’s hands, first one, then the other. Then he placed his forehead on them as chill seeped through the thin fabric of his slacks, his knees damp. “Caleb opened my eyes. He said I broke your heart.” A violent shudder went through Navid. “He’s right. I vowed to take care of you, to protect you, and I failed miserably.” Another shudder and a gasp. Navid was crying, and Zana couldn’t bear it.
Abruptly he stood and scooped Navid in his arms. His husband fit into his embrace just like he had on their first night together. Navid hid his face in Zana’s neck, and Zana carried him inside the house into the living room. He settled on the sofa with Navid curled up in his lap.
He kissed Navid’s forehead and kept stroking his back. He burned to ask if Navid could forgive him, but it wouldn’t have been fair. So Zana talked.
“They spent Caleb’s heat at Travis Whitehall’s chalet in the mountains. Nathaniel almost didn’t let me into the house. He demanded I give him my word I wouldn’t upset Caleb. Of course, the man’s thirty-six, mature and confident. Not easily deterred. And can you imagine they held hands? Caleb is only a few days into his recovery, but they held hands. For the entire time I spoke to them.” Zana sighed. “I remembered when we were leaving your childhood home together all those years ago and you held on to my hand for hours on end. I ate breakfast one-handed because I knew you needed my touch.”
Navid nuzzled his throat, quietly listening.
“I think I might even like Nathaniel,” Zana said. “He’s only a little older than I