want to call it…” He dropped his hand, curled it into a fist. “He killed himself almost two years later. He had a wife. A kid.”
She sucked in a breath. But since words seemed inadequate, she remained silent.
He was staring ahead, not paying attention, as if he were lost.
“At Matt’s funeral, Joe and I made a pact to live fully, our way, no matter how lame, to honor Matt and Gary.” After several tense seconds, he looked at her. “I keep my hair short so the first thing I see every day is this scar. A reminder of that promise.”
Jennifer felt slightly breathless. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Sorry you asked?”
“Not at all.” She shook her head and offered a wan smile. More fully, she understood what he meant about the different worlds. The things that he spoke of, she would never experience. “I wish I were capable of not being nosy.”
“Don’t apologize for being who you are.”
The timbre of his voice rumbled through her, and she snuggled closer to him again.
In the companionable quiet, woven from the sharing of secrets, they watched the fire, saw clouds fill the sky, making it look mysterious outside.
“I promised you a shower,” he said much later. “But it can wait. I want to get you hotter, wetter, dirtier first.”
His shocking words shot heat into her cunt, leaving her feeling greedy. “When?” she asked, emboldened in a way she had never been before tonight.
He plucked the bottle from her hand and the blanket from her shoulders, then said, “On your knees. Present my belt to me.”
In his tone there was nothing but uncompromising authority. She searched his features and found no hint of the person who’d so tenderly held her moments ago. Instead, he was a Dom who expected to be obeyed. Shocked, she realized she liked both sides of him equally as well.
Silently—since words would have lodged in her throat—she dug through the pile of their clothes until she found his belt.
He continued to regard her, his fingers steepled.
Once she held the leather by the buckle, she was uncertain what to do, how to proceed.
“You’ve got good instincts. Trust them. You won’t disappoint me.”
She folded the belt in half before kneeling in front of him. Remembering his instructions in the basement, she spread her thighs wide and leaned back slightly. Then she bowed her head, extended her hands palms up and focused her gaze on the floorboards.
For a long time, he remained silent. It took all her concentration to remain where she was, knowing he was looking, thinking, perhaps planning what he intended to do to her.
Finally, just when she was about to shift or say something to break the tension that was clawing through her, he said, “Exactly right.”
She exhaled a slow, shuddering breath.
He took the belt from her and said, “Now fetch my bag for me.”
Aware of his gaze on her, she stood with as much grace as possible then went to grab his bag. She deposited it next to him.
With a pleased nod, he instructed, “Over my knees.”
He offered a hand, and she accepted. Even though her pulse skidded past every other beat, she drank reassurance from his strong grip.
Within seconds, she was upended, off balance, reaching for the floor with her fingertips.
“Legs farther apart.”
Before she could get situated, he placed a finger at the entrance to her pussy and eased it inside her.
Her vision swam.
“How are you with anal?”
“Oh my God…”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He played with her pussy, sliding his finger in and out until she was wet and slippery.
Then she felt him at her tightest hole, slowly pressing forward. She had a safe word and a word to get him to slow down. Since she was an anal virgin, she should use one of them. But she didn’t. Couldn’t.
“It’ll be easier if you bear down instead of fighting.”
She sucked in a breath, realizing he was coaching her, not asking permission.
He removed his hand. At the sound of the zipper rasping, she froze. She cocked her head to the side to see him pull a small packet of lube from his bag.
He tore off a corner. Then she felt the cool, viscous liquid on her skin.
With his finger, he worked it in deeper and deeper.
“Relax,” he suggested, his voice soothing.
She wasn’t sure that was even possible.
He swatted her right ass cheek hard, and she yelped, scooting away from him. But the distraction was enough to allow him to wrap one arm around her waist and drag her