into the mountains.”
There’s a rumbling among the elders.
Margo steps forward, and they quiet. “We all heard him say it, and Renata saw it when she took his memories.”
“I’ve seen the weapon. I know where to find it. We need to move out now. This minute.”
“And leave the safety of the cloisters?” Octavio asks, incredulously.
Margo clears her throat. “Someone betrayed us. They told the justice about the hidden pass. The king’s guard is coming for us.”
“But you said Méndez is dead,” Illan says, though his voice is distant.
“He’s one of hundreds of judges,” I say, frustrated. They aren’t listening.
“There’s a new safe house where we can take refuge. We can’t stay here,” Margo says.
It’s a strange feeling being on the same side of an argument as her, but I am thankful for it.
“Tell us everything,” Illan says. “From the beginning.”
“There is no time,” I say.
“How can you ask us to trust you if we do not know everything you have done?” Filipa asks.
When I glance around, there are rebel Moria gathered all around the walls and on the second floor of the hall, leaning over the wooden banister. Sayida stands close behind me, keeping her promise, but Margo and Esteban flank the rectangular table of the Whispers council. Daylight beams through the circular window facing me, and I realize I am not pleading for a mission. I am pleading my case at my trial.
I explain what happened in the Forest of Lynxes, when Prince Castian captured Dez. I explain about sleeping by the riverbank, how I was trying to calm Dez’s sleep. There’s a fury of whispers. I’ve been waiting for that blame. It is Illan who silences it with the beat of his cane on the stone floor. I tell them how I wanted revenge after seeing Dez die. When I describe Lozar’s memory, I choke on my words. The elders’ surprise shows on their faces. They didn’t know Lozar was still alive, but were aware of other Moria in the cells.
I continue with my plot to spy in the palace, to go undercover and find the weapon. Everything I saw in the court. It is like baring my scars to them all, and despite the snarls or disinterested stares of others, this tightened, suffocating weight around my heart begins to come undone.
The elders are infuriatingly still until Illan leans forward, tenting his trembling fingers. “What do you want us to do, Renata?”
“Retain a small unit to find and destroy the weapon and retreat with what is left of the Whispers.”
“Retreat?” Octavio asks sharply.
“What do you call what we’ve been doing?” I ask. “Puerto Leones isn’t safe anymore. The king will amass his forces. He’ll use the weapon. We won’t be able to hide this time if he can detect our magics.”
“He’ll be weakened by the news of Méndez—”
“Prince Castian will have Méndez replaced!” I shout.
“I for one am not satisfied with what you gathered while frolicking around the palace,” Filipa says.
“We have to leave,” I shout, anger bubbling in my throat. I empty my pockets and set the rubies from the gloves on the table. “These will buy everyone passage to Luzou or the Icelands. Six Heavens, it would buy us a new ship! We have one final safe house. We have one last chance to save this rebellion.”
“How are you going to board this ship and also get to the weapon, Renata?” Illan asks me, his eyes unwavering.
“I’m not going to board the ship. I’m staying to finish this. I request a unit to help me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a one-way mission, and I understand if you’d rather stay, but I’m going to finish what Dez started. What you started, Illan.”
“I see,” he says, his fingers shaking as he sits back into his chair. “We will take what you have told us into consideration. Wait outside for a moment.”
“But—”
“Please, Ren,” Illan says, and there’s a weakness in his voice that tugs deep in my chest. He already looks defeated.
I storm out of the room and head for a place that reminds me of Dez. One of my own memories floods my mind as my feet carry me there. In the small grove behind the cloisters, there’s a waterfall that empties out into a basin. This was Dez’s favorite place in ángeles. Illan used to say that his son must have been born part fish because he could spend hours swimming. I run there now because it feels like the only way I can be close