woman who scares you a little, one who makes you think what the hell is she doing with a jackass like me? Then spend the rest of your life trying to live up to what you think she deserves.”
Pops had a lot of wisdom, and I knew he was right, but I wasn’t asking the question I really wanted answered. So I took a deep breath and spit out what was really bothering me.
“It’s new. But I really like her…and…she wants kids.”
Pops held my eyes as so many unspoken words passed between us. He didn’t need any more of an explanation about why that was an issue for me.
His face saddened, but he nodded. “So you think you’re selfish for not wanting kids.”
I nodded.
“You’re not selfish, son. You just don’t know how to deny someone you love anything. That’s an admirable quality in a man. Your situation is different than a man who doesn’t want children because he likes his lifestyle. I could see how that might seem somewhat selfish, though it’s still a person’s choice. It’s their life. But you…it’s not about that. I’d guess that down deep you even want to have children, that your reasons are more of a protective nature—for a future child, and maybe even a little for yourself.”
I felt a heavy weight on my chest and looked down. “I don’t know about that, Pops.”
When I looked back up, he caught my gaze. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then trust me when I say you’re not selfish. That’s not what this is about.” Pops sighed. “Have you spoken to your lady about your reasons?”
I shook my head.
“Well, that’s where you need to start. If nothing else, at least she’ll understand your position better.”
“It’s not something that’s easy to explain.”
“Of course not. But I think you need to tell your story. It’s been a long time coming. And even if you two can’t work out your differences, it’s important for you to come clean with her…and yourself.”
***
Ireland blew me off again on Monday. By Tuesday morning, I was feeling restless and snapping at my staff. Even Millie was keeping her distance. But then my desk phone rang in the early afternoon, and the caller ID flashed the name Ireland Richardson.
My heart was pumping before I even lifted the receiver. “I got my zoning variance!”
I smiled at the sound of her voice. I’d forgotten her hearing was this morning. “That’s great news. I’m glad it worked out.”
“It didn’t work out. You made it work out. Thank you so much, Grant. I owe you one.”
My normal response would’ve been Why don’t you bring your sexy ass up here to my office, and I’ll cash that chip in after I lock my door, but things still felt off. So instead I said, “You’re welcome. But it was really no trouble at all.”
“I think I might have even found a new contractor to finish the bathroom. He said if I could get someone in to sheetrock by midweek, he could tile the shower and floors. Then the plumber would just need to come back to set the sink and toilet and I’d at least have one working bathroom. If I can get that and a bedroom done, I could move in when my lease is up and get the kitchen and other rooms done slowly.”
“Do you have a drywaller lined up?”
She sighed. “No. But I’m going to start searching as soon as we hang up.”
“You just need the bathroom done this week?”
“Yeah. So hopefully it won’t be too hard to find someone.”
I remembered all the house construction Pops and I had done over the years. They were actually some of the best memories of my life. We’d spend the day bullshitting and laughing, and things would somehow get done. Which gave me an idea...
“You don’t have to call around. I have someone for you.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
“Oh my God. I wish I could climb through the phone and kiss your face right now.”
I grinned. “Save that thought. Because that’s how you’ll be paying the contractor who’s going to do your work.”
“Did you just tell me I have to make out with the contractor?”
I chuckled. “I most certainly did.”
“Now I’m lost. Who is this contractor?”
“Me.”
Chapter 26
* * *
Ireland
God, I like that toolbelt.
I leaned against the doorframe, watching Grant work in the front yard. He had a piece of sheetrock set up on two sawhorses and was running a saw over it to fit into an area of the bathroom he’d just