the three words he could never say to her again.
I love you.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The FEAers ended their night at the only place that made sense: Gino’s. Their home away from home. In the past year, they spent enough money here to keep the bar in the green for at least another twelve months, which may have been why the owner treated them to a round of free beers on their last night.
Courtney raised her drink and looked around at the dozens of faces staring back at her. “Guys, we’ve made it this far. This is our last night. Our last chance to make sure we don’t leave Shanghai with any regrets. Say what you want to say, do what you want to do, or forever hold your peace.”
Farrah flicked her eyes toward the back of the group, where Blake stood still as a statue.
I hope you find him. His words echoed in her mind, taunting her.
“We go back to our own cities and lives tomorrow, but no matter what happens, I think it’s safe to say this is a year we’ll cherish forever. So, cheers!” Courtney raised her drink higher. “To FEA, Shanghai, and a night we won’t remember with friends we’ll never forget!”
“Cheers!”
Farrah lifted her glass as FEA erupted into a cacophony of chatter and glasses clinking.
In her peripheral vision, Farrah saw a tear slip down Janice’s cheek. The end of the semester hit everyone harder than expected.
Janice caught Farrah’s eye, and the two girls exchanged watery smiles. They were roommates, not friends, but Farrah wouldn’t forget the way Janice comforted her the night of her breakup with Blake. Part of her wished she’d gotten to know Janice better this year, but it was too late for that.
“I can’t stand this sentimental shit,” Kris said.
“Don’t lie. You love it.” Olivia draped an arm over Kris’s shoulders. “I’m going to miss you.”
Kris sighed and finished her cranberry vodka. “I’m going to miss you too.” She caught Farrah’s eye and rolled her eyes jokingly. Farrah smiled. Kris may be prickly, but she would kill for her friends. That type of loyalty was hard to come by.
The music switched to The Wanted’s “Glad You Came,” one of Farrah’s favorite throwback songs. Her heart ached at the lyrics. Of all the cities in all the world, they ended up here. But what if they hadn’t? Even if one person chose another city, this whole year would’ve been different.
In that way, the lyrics couldn’t have been more fitting, though she knew the song was about orgasms.
That was fitting too.
Farrah’s mouth tilted up at her own inside joke.
She might have loose ends to tie up. She might never forget Blake, and she might not see half the people here again, but she was grateful for everything that happened these past eight months. How lucky was she to have spent a year in Shanghai, to have strangers turn into family, and to have loved so deeply it left scars on her heart?
Her and Blake’s story didn’t end in a happily ever after, but he’d showed her that love—that deep, all-consuming love people wrote songs and movies and books about—was real. Farrah experienced it, even if he hadn’t. While this story hadn’t turned out the way she hoped, perhaps the next one would.
Farrah took a deep breath and pushed her sadness aside. It was her last night. Time to enjoy it.
She joined her friends on the dance floor. Sammy’s unbuttoned shirt bared his muscular chest, a sure sign he was drunk. Courtney hopped onto Luke’s back and fist-pumped the air, even though they weren’t playing fist-pumping music. Olivia and Kris took turns spinning each other around until Kris crashed into Nardo, who tried to start a conga line. No one except Flo joined him, but it was nice to see him loosen up for a change.
“Farrah, get your sexy ass over here!” Courtney climbed off Luke’s back and corralled Farrah, Kris, and Olivia into a group hug.
“I love you girls,” she said, her blue eyes bright with emotion.
“No crying,” Kris warned. “It gives me the heebie-jeebies.”
Olivia’s jaw dropped. “Did Kris Carrera just use the term ‘heebie-jeebies?’”
“No, I didn’t. You can’t prove it. If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.”
They cracked up at the same time. Farrah took a mental snapshot and tucked it away in her box of cherished memories. She hoped she never forgot the love she felt in that moment.
“This is it, guys.” She squeezed her friends tighter. “Let’s make it count.”
And for the rest of