I Pucking Love You (The Copper Valley Thrusters #5) - Pippa Grant Page 0,86
But you’re welcome to think of my joystick as much as you want. Actually, if you wanted to think about it now and tell me you’re naked in my bed and pretending I’m with you, I’d be down for that.
Muffy: Oh! I got three texts from unknown numbers. They’re claiming to be your sisters. OMG! You gave your sisters my number?
Tyler: Ignore those. They’re not actually my sisters. Nick’s passing your number around the team and everyone’s trying to get you to tell stories about me.
Muffy: The one claiming to be Allie has a picture of you with your finger up your nose when you were thirteen. *picture of Tyler dressed for hockey practice with his finger up his nose*
Tyler: That’s really Rooster.
Muffy: No, that’s definitely your brother in the background. OMG! The one who says she’s Keely sent me a screenshot of a group text with you and your family where your dad said something about getting high and moving in with a family of otters?
Tyler: Heh. Yeah. I taught Staci how to change autocorrect functions in Dad’s phone, and so she sneaks over there and replaces his favorite phrases with weird shit all the time. No one suspects her because she refuses to participate in group text messages.
Tyler: DO NOT SCREENSHOT THAT CONFESSION.
Tyler: Not that it matters. It’s not really my sisters. It’s Lavoie and Rooster and Ares.
Tyler: Muffy? Fuck. Where’d you go?
Muffy: Sorry. Daisy group video-chatted us all because your sisters knew you’d be denying it was actually them. OMG! They’re so funny! And nice. And I can see how growing up with that much energy would scar you for life. It’s like two and a half times as much energy as my mom, and she drove me crazy on a regular basis.
Tyler: Ice water has officially rained down on Mount St. Helens and it will never erupt again.
Muffy: Britney and Daisy both put some of their cats on to talk, and Rufus freaked out at all the meowing. But don’t worry. I’ll replace your fruit bowl before you get home. Oh! Did I tell you that one of my clients had a very successful first date this morning? I’m so excited for her. She’s… well, she’s a lot like me. *blushing emoji* *flower bud emoji*
Tyler: That’s awesome. High five, magic matchmaker.
Muffy: It’s only a first date, but they set up a second before it was over, so I’m cautiously optimistic.
Tyler: We should celebrate when I get back. Naked. With those dice that Rufus dumped out of your bag.
Muffy: OMG! I didn’t know you saw those.
Tyler: Got distracted when he tried to climb the curtains.
Muffy: Those are on my list to replace too.
Tyler: Quit offering to replace things. Have I mentioned I have four sisters and I’m the baby? I didn’t pick or buy anything currently decorating my place. I didn’t even pick the condo. It was the default option when my sisters nixed the other options for whatever their reasons were.
Muffy: What about the TV?
Tyler: Okay, that wasn’t my sisters. That was West. He was researching his own new television when he got out of the military, found one he liked, then moved in with Daisy and redirected his TV here to me since he knew mine didn’t survive my move to Copper Valley and I’d been going without, whereas he had moved in with a billionaire.
Muffy: That’s…wow.
Tyler: I *am* fully capable of picking things for myself. But a wise man once told me it’s sometimes best not to fight it.
Muffy: Your dad?
Tyler: West, actually. He heard it from Dad first, before Dad was worn down by raising four girls.
Muffy: You’re ridiculous, yet sexy and adorable at the same time. That bag Rufus emptied? It’s actually my Muff Matchers new client kit. In addition to the sex dice, there are fuzzy handcuffs, a pack of cards with unique date ideas and conversation starters, eye masks, a romantic candle, lip balm, breath mints, hand sanitizer, an umbrella, and a vibrator.
Tyler: Fuck me, now I’m picturing you using a vibrator.
Muffy: I’m mildly surprised you didn’t empty the drawer in my nightstand when you cleaned out my room to move me in with you. It’s not like you have anything to be self-conscious about. You’re definitely better than my favorite dildo.
Tyler: I’m sweating.
Muffy: So. You, me, dice, handcuffs, dildos, and vibrators? Saturday night is sounding better than I thought it would when you proposed date night on our way back from Richmond.