I Pucking Love You (The Copper Valley Thrusters #5) - Pippa Grant Page 0,83

possibly he’s starting to question my mental state.

All good. This isn’t a date, after all.

I manage to end my not-date soon after so I can check the message from Tyler. Before I let myself click on his studly face, though, I prep a note to my date—Steve, that’s his name—to send after a while where I’ll apologize for being flaky, tell him this is a weird question, but I feel like he should meet my friend Brianna?

I’m almost back to the light-rail stop before I finally give myself permission to look at Tyler’s message.

And my heart nearly stops.

I call him, but he doesn’t answer. No surprise. He’s at practice. Morning skate. Team time. Whatever they call it.

And since I can’t get ahold of him, I go down my list.

I start with Veda, who gets a text. Her dad’s funeral is going viral. She should know. Someone in her circles in Richmond might notice and ask about it.

Hello, stomach dropping.

Why does Richmond still bother me?

I went, I funeral-ed, I came home with a boyfriend.

I survived. They didn’t hurt me.

But I’m still breaking out in a cold sweat.

So, my next move is to call Kami.

She has experience with the limelight. Not only were she and Nick featured in a Valentine’s Day promo shoot for the Thrusters last year that aired on the video boards at the arena during the game, but they were also covered on a national news channel for a feature about the personal lives of hockey players.

Forty minutes later, we’re seated at the Cod Pieces franchise closest to her veterinary practice. I don’t know the crew here, and that’s probably for the best.

“Is this all going to blow over without me getting named and Muff Matchers coming into it?” I ask her over fried fish once she’s skimmed the gossip article on my phone.

“Probably. I heard Liv Daniels is having a fling with a mystery man, so Daisy Carter Kincaid’s brother-in-law dating a normal person shouldn’t be interesting for long.”

I don’t answer.

Kami squeezes my arm. “Did you want the attention?”

The question makes sense. On one hand, it’s free advertising if I’m identified.

But I don’t want it.

And it’s not the world-wide public attention that has me frowning. It’s the local attention. “I don’t want anyone digging into why I left medical school,” I whisper.

There’s freedom in Tyler knowing. It’s an unexpected gift to feel so comfortable in knowing my secret is safe with him, plus his complete support and lack of judgment make me feel like everything’s okay. Or if not okay, better than it was before, even if I still get the cold chills and shakes at thinking about ever going back to Richmond. They’re less chilly and shaky now. Like maybe I’ve been holding on to the shame and the guilt and the whole big secret for too long, when really, nothing was nearly as guilt- and shame-inducing as I’ve been telling myself it is.

I haven’t even told my therapist that part of my story. We talk more about my parents and my feelings of inadequacy at being a normal adult with a normal job after such a big failure.

But Tyler knowing is different from the world at large knowing.

I am not ready for the phone calls and emails and questions I’d get.

I probably won’t ever be. It’s not really anyone else’s business.

Kami leans closer. “You’re not worried your clients would dump you over something that happened years ago, are you?”

I start to shake my head no, then stop.

Am I?

“Tyler’s really mad at my mom,” I hear myself say.

Kami doesn’t blink at the subject shift. “Why?”

“I think he thinks she’s done a lot of things to make me feel insecure in who I am and what I look like.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Probably like you feel about thinking you’re the dumb one in your family?”

Kami’s not dumb. She made it through vet school and she’s saved Rufus’s life more than once. But her brother and sister are uber smart, and I know it’s always bothered her when they nerd out and she can’t keep up.

She drops her gaze to my chest. Pretty sure she’s not making a comment on how big my boobs are, but more that I’m hiding them under a massive Thrusters hoodie.

And yes, it’s Tyler’s, and no, I won’t stop borrowing his clothes until he makes me.

They smell like him.

I like it. This might not last long. I’m YOLO-ing while I can.

Plus, I was screening someone for Brianna an hour ago, and so it