something a responsible nanny would say. “Shouldn’t you ask her?”
“It’s fine,” Raychel says. “We’re all about sharing.”
I’m still full from Emilia’s breakfast spread, which involved about four more components than I’m used to at home, but I take a few chips to be polite.
Kyle swoops in for a fistful, then checks his chunky waterproof wristwatch. “I’d better get back. It was nice meeting you, Anna.” He grabs a can of soda from the cooler at his moms’ feet, and then he’s gone.
“How are you finding Herron Mills, Anna?” Hilary asks. She’s tall and willowy like her kids and shares their red hair and freckled complexion.
“I just got into town last night, so I haven’t had much of a chance to explore. But it’s lovely so far.”
Elizabeth, petite and curvy in a navy blue one-piece, explains that they’re taking a few days of “family stay-cation,” which I guess is what you do when you live at the beach. I look out, eyes skating across the water, and I’m struck suddenly by an intense wave of nostalgia. The fine white froth of the surf against the shore. The ocean’s wide maw. The narrow ribbon of sand.
Mom and I aren’t exactly travelers; I’ve never been on a beach vacation. And the beaches in Brooklyn don’t look anything like this. Still, there’s something about this specific stretch of sand that’s so familiar, I could swear I’ve been here before. For a moment, it’s like I’m standing inside a past version of myself, scanning the water through her eyes, reliving a day I’ve already experienced. I can almost remember. It’s at the edge of my vision, just outside the frame.
“Paisley will have to take you to Jenkins’.” Elizabeth’s voice punches through my reverie, yanking me back to the present. To a place where the logical part of my brain says I’ve never set foot before today. “That’s the ice-cream shop on Main, family-owned for two generations now.”
“If you’ll have access to a car, there’s the aquarium in Riverhead,” Hilary adds.
“And the Big Duck!” Paisley squeals.
I shake off the last gritty silt of my almost-memory, tell myself it was a trick of the light against water. Then I tuck my hands into my armpits and flap them up and down like wings until Paisley and Raychel explode in a fit of giggles. Goofing off I can do. Adventures I can do. It’s responsibility that doesn’t come so easy. I make a promise to myself to work harder.
* * *
That evening, after grilled lamb chops and pea-greens salad on the back porch with Emilia and Paisley, I stretch out on a recliner by the pool and listen to the soft lap of the water spilling over the infinity edge in an endless black cascade. Hush, hush. It’s just begging me to draw it. My sketchbook is still packed, but I’ll dig it out tonight when the darkness prods me inside. There’s so much beauty out here. Both the natural kind and the kind that comes with scads and scads of money. I want to capture it all.
My days officially end after dinner, which is served at six thirty. Emilia and Paisley have mother-daughter time after the plates are cleared, and she takes care of the nighttime routine. I know it’s a pretty good arrangement; I should be grateful for so much time off. But tonight, staring down the end of my first full day in Herron Mills, I could use something to keep me busy. Someone to talk to. I can’t remember the last time I was totally on my own so early in the evening—no Mom, no Kaylee or whatever guy I was hooking up with at the time. Their chatter filling my ears, filling the hours before school would start up again, and I’d drag myself through another day.
The sticky summer air makes me miss Kaylee, in spite of myself. Sometimes, if we had money, we’d go to a movie or grab a slice of pizza. But most summer nights we’d fill our water bottles with vodka and grapefruit juice and lots of crushed ice and sit out on her fire escape, painting our toenails and surfing YouTube for funny videos until we got bored. Then we’d go to a bar, get older guys to buy us drinks. Go to Starr’s, go dancing where we could get in for the pretty girl discount, no ID, no questions asked. Last July was the first time the cops brought me home. It happened two more times over