him like a big brother? When had that happened? She used to adore him. Good Lord, had a couple of days of having men like Findlay, Pembroke and Tibald fawning over her made that much difference? Impossible.
Or was it? he wondered. Other than servants, he had been the only male around while the Madison sisters were growing up. Perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that she would have a crush on him. But now she was surrounded by men. They were flocking to her like bees to honey. It seemed that was enough to cool the longstanding ardor she'd had for him and turn her adoration to filial affection.
He should be relieved, Robert supposed. But, oddly enough, he wasn't. He felt . . . betrayed. Abandoned. And even . . . Dear God, he was jealous. The very idea of her kissing any man, let alone several, had him wanting to gnash his teeth. The problem was, he didn't know if he was jealous because he was just used to her being in love with him, or because he actually wanted her for himself.
Robert really had thought of Lisa as something of a little sister for years, finding her adoration of him amusing and annoying by turn. But finding her in that brothel, dressed in that damned seethrough gown . . . the one she planned to wear on her wedding night to another man.
It wasn't just that though. Lisa was changing and quickly. The attentions of all these men were building her confidence. She laughed more gaily, a full, infectious laugh rather than the shy twitter he was used to hearing. She walked taller, her chin up, and her eyes positively twinkled with life and enjoyment. She was blossoming like a rose in bloom. And it made a pretty, quiet girl into an irresistibly beautiful and charming woman. The kind of woman a man could fall in love with and that many men would want and pursue.
"Damn," Robert muttered and turned wearily from the door. He had no idea what to do with these realizations. He had no desire to be having these feelings for Lisa. And he definitely had no desire to marry and suffer the humiliation and heartache of an adulterous wife. The hell of it was that prior to this trip he would have been hardpressed to believe that Lisa even could be unfaithful. But now, with her wanting to kiss every man in London . . . well, it did seem more likely. And adulterous wives were something of a curse in his family. So much so that, despite her behavior, it probably wouldn't even be her fault in the end.
It just seemed better all the way around for Robert to ignore his changing feelings and keep the girl at arm's length. He would sort out this business of the suitor, but then he would get the hell away from her and let her live her life. It was her best chance of happiness and his best chance of avoiding getting hurt.
"Okay. So what is going on between you and Robert?"
Lisa glanced to Suzette with surprise. "Whatever do you mean? Nothing is going on."
"Right," Suzette said dryly. "He has been standing in that exact same spot across the ballroom, his eyes locked on you all night." "And you have studiously avoided looking at him all night as well," Christiana added with amusement.
"I have no reason to look at him. As for his watching me . . . I cannot control what he does," Lisa said with a shrug, but wished she could. Robert's eyes had been following her since they'd arrived, and she hadn't glanced in his direction because she didn't have to. She could feel his eyes burning holes into her. She wished he'd stop that.
Lisa supposed she wouldn't mind if his look was admiring or something, but it wasn't. Robert had taken an emotional step back. She could feel it. He was watching her with a purely professional disinterest, as if he were a hired bodyguard. She didn't know what had done it, but something had made him erect a wall between them.
There was nothing she could do about that of course, so Lisa just accepted it and smiled and danced with the men on her card, vetting out those who she liked and those she didn't. She was not going to sit around waiting on any man, not even Robert.
"Miss Madison."
Lisa glanced to the man before her and smiled cheerfully. "Lord Pembroke.