like that, made him want to howl to the moon.
Thinking about that poor newborn baby brought tears to his eyes.
Now he understood why delivering Nic’s babies had caused such a reaction in Sage and why babysitting the pair had taken so much out of her. The woman had grit. Pure grit. He’d never admired her more. He’d never loved her more.
He gazed toward Reflection Point. Sage wasn’t waiting for him on the pier. Okay, then. She’d probably gone looking for Snowdrop to hug. He’d hunt her down. He had something to say to her. Something he’d considered long and hard during the trip from Dallas back to Eternity Springs.
He rowed back to the pier, secured the boat, then walked with steady determination up to her cottage. There, he made a perfunctory knock on her back door, then stepped inside. He found her in her studio, working on a portrait of Snowdrop.
“No butterflies? Fairies?”
“Just Snowdrop.”
“Comfort painting.”
She smiled a little sadly, but didn’t respond. Colt stepped farther into the room. He knew what he wanted to say, but he didn’t know the best way to say it. Ease his way in, or just say it flat out? He watched her add a spot of white, a bit of light, to the chocolate brown of Snowdrop’s eyes, and decided to jump into the deep end of Hummingbird Lake. “I love you, Sage Anderson. I want to spend my life with you. Make a family with you. Look at me, please?”
Slowly she turned, and their gazes met and held. “Marry me, Cinnamon. Let me be your soft place to fall.”
The paintbrush slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor. The pain in her eyes caused his stomach to drop to his knees. “Oh, Colt. Don’t do this, please. I am nowhere ready for this. I am the most screwed-up person in the world. I let you down when you needed me the most. That’s what I do. It’s who I am. I’m trying to change, but who knows if I’ll ever pull it off.”
“I saw you outside the hospital.”
Her eyes rounded. “You did?”
“It was a few minutes after Rachel first moved her toes. I ran down to find you, but you were gone.”
“I stood out there for over an hour, Colt, but I couldn’t make myself go inside. It perfectly illustrates my point. I travel all the way to Texas, but I can’t go the last few steps. Like I said, I am the world’s most screwed-up person.”
“You survived, Sage.”
“Yes, I did. I survived and I’m existing and I’m trying to learn to live again. But marriage?” She shook her head. “You’re pushing me, Rafferty. You’re always pushing.”
“Yeah, I tend to do that. It’s a fault of mine.”
“Well, you need to back off. I’m not ready. I may never be ready. First I have to be whole.”
“Fine, then.” He folded his arms, lifted his chin, and shrugged. “I’ll wait.”
She lifted her face heavenward and let out a noise of frustration, “Arrgh! There you go again. Listen to me, Rafferty. I won’t be pushed.”
“I’m waiting. Waiting isn’t pushing.”
“From you it is.”
“Wrong. This would be pushing.” He crossed the room, dragged her into his arms, kissed her passionately, then tilted her chin and stared down into her dazed eyes. “Marry me, Sage. I want to wake up with you each morning and lie down with you each night. You bring color into my world and happiness into my heart. You complete me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and overflowed. “I hate you.”
“I know,” he murmured, kissing the salty wetness away. “Of course, that only makes you love me more.”
She laughed sadly and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I need to see a therapist.”
“I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole.”
Sighing heavily, she stepped away from him. “Rose knows someone with the Department of Veterans Affairs. A psychologist in Georgia. I flew there after I left Dallas and met with her twice.”
“That’s great news, Sage.”
“She has a two-week vacation coming up. She had planned to go to Oregon, but Angel’s Rest intrigued her, and she and I cut a deal. She said if I worked up enough gumption to tell you and Rose about Africa, then she’ll spend a working vacation at Angel’s Rest. She thinks we could accomplish a lot with a handful of face-to-face sessions followed up by phone calls.”
“Excellent. What would you think about a December wedding?”
Sage doubled up her fist and punched him in the stomach. “Quit pushing. I mean it. We