kept my mind and body busy. It’s a lot of physical work, killing a man and then disposing of his body, so at the end of the night when I got back to my place, I could have collapsed in bed and fallen right to sleep.
Instead, I’ll get home early. I’ll have plenty of time to think about shit I don’t want to think about. When I crawl into bed, I won’t be as worn out as I need to be, so I’ll lie there thinking about Autumn, picking up her scent on my pillow even all these nights later.
It is what it is, I guess.
Once we cut Ed loose, Adrian and I go to the on-site utility sinks to wash up. While we’re standing there, he looks over at me and asks, “You still thinking about that girl?”
I look over at him as I scrub the blood spatter off my forearm. “What?”
“You’re sad. You’ve been sad ever since you came back after Christmas. I’m guessing it didn’t go so well?”
His perception annoys me, so I shift my gaze back to the sink and scrub at my fingernails to get the blood out from underneath. “What makes you think that?”
Adrian doesn’t bother answering such a stupid question.
“All right, fine. It didn’t work out. Everything ended amicably, I just…” I hate admitting it. I normally wouldn’t, not to anyone, but I trust Adrian with my life, so I guess I can trust him with this. “I miss her, that’s all.”
“Nothing you can do to get her back?”
I sigh, dropping the brush and thrusting my hands under the spray to rinse off all the red-tinted lather. “Ending things wasn’t her call, it was mine. She wanted to stay, but she didn’t really know what she was signing up for.”
Adrian nods his understanding. “It’s hard with outsiders. You can’t tell them much, and they sense you keeping things from them but they don’t know what. Always causes problems in relationships, especially romantic ones.”
“Well, it’s not… exactly that.” Despite trusting him, I think twice before I offer any more.
Adrian is my friend, but before that, he’s my superior. Before that, he’s Mateo’s man—and Mateo is pretty adamant about people on his payroll being discreet when it comes to the work they do for him.
I know his wife isn’t from this life, though. If his own wife started out as an outsider, surely even the boss must understand that sometimes you have to tell the woman you love some of the shit you do.
Adrian feels me holding out on him, and given what we were just discussing, he must have an idea about what it is.
Disbelief etched across his scarred features, he stares a hole straight through me. He knows me too well to think he even has to entertain this question, but here he is forced to ask it, anyway. “You didn’t tell her anything. Right?”
I don’t say anything. I don’t have to. My poker face is good, but not good enough to fool Adrian Palmetto.
“Jasper,” he says, staring at me like it’s the first time he’s ever seen me. “What the fuck were you thinking? How much did you tell her?”
“Not much.” I answer quickly, knowing if I don’t, this could spin out of control fast. “Nothing incriminating. I’m not some thoughtless asshole, Adrian. You know I wouldn’t do anything to put any of us in danger. I know this girl, all right? I know who she is. She’d never say anything.”
“You can’t trust that.” He turns off the faucet angrily, grabbing a hand towel and starting to dry his hands, but he’s still staring right at me. “You can’t know what’s going on in another person’s mind, Jasper. You can be an expert at reading people and they can still surprise you, especially when there’s emotional involvement. I’ve had people do shit I never fucking saw coming after we’ve let them into the inner sanctum. You can’t just go around telling random women—”
“She isn’t some random woman,” I interrupt firmly. “I know I can trust her, all right? There’s nothing to worry about.”
“How much did you tell her?” he asks, refusing to drop my gaze.
As comfortable as I am working for these people, caution slices through me, threatening to divide my loyalties. I know I need to step carefully here. If Adrian gets the impression Autumn is a potential risk to the well-being of his family…
Well, then we’re not gonna be friends anymore.
“She’s a good person, Adrian. Not the pain in the