Honor and Desire (Gold Sky #3) - Rebel Carter Page 0,39
of you fraying my last damn nerve, August, not for lack of food.”
“Even so, you should eat. That’s why I brought it,” he said and she hated the absolute certainty she heard in August’s voice.
“I should be at a picnic right now, not here,” she muttered, gesturing around the familiar sight of the sheriff's office. After her near fainting spell at August’s sudden declaration, Seylah’s feet had set off on their own accord. She hadn’t known where she was going but had within a few minutes found herself at the door of the place she went nearly every day. August had opened the door and followed her inside, wordlessly.
They had been sitting in silence ever since, the plate of picnic food on the desk in front of her while his words rang in her ears.
I love you, Seylah.
He couldn’t mean romantically, not like she did him, how could he?
She raised her eyes from the floor to his and saw that he was watching her intently. “Why now?” She asked her voice a whisper.
“Why now, what?”
“You said,” she paused and cleared her throat before continuing on, “your declaration. Why now?”
August crossed his arms and leaned against the wall at his back. “Because any longer and I was going to lose my mind over it.” He looked away and out the window towards where the picnic festivities were still underway. “Nearly did lose my mind when I saw you with him. I can’t say that I’m not a jealous man, because I am when it comes to you. I want you, Seylah. Always have, always will, and I won’t share you with another man so long as I breathe. Don’t ask me to do it, because I can’t.”
“What on earth are you going on about?” Seylah asked, raising her hands to rub at her temples. Nothing made sense. Maybe this was all a dream, and she would soon awake to Rose shaking her and demanding to know when she would make breakfast.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I love you, Seylah. I’ll keep saying it until you understand me.” August pushed away from the wall, but then gestured at the food she still hadn’t touched. “But I know well enough than to push the issue until you’ve eaten, so do us both a favor and eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” she muttered.
“Honey,” he sighed and her traitorous heart set to thumping. Begrudgingly Seylah ate. It was only after she had finished half the plate that August spoke again. “Better?” he asked.
“Better,” she said with a definite sullen downturn of her lips.
August chuckled and came to stand beside her. “Stop your pouting.”
“I’m not pouting and if I were, I quite think I have the right to be as you barged in with such an unexpected declaration of affection,” she informed him, putting down her fork with a thunk.
“It’s not quite so unexpected as you have fooled yourself to believe, and we both know it.”
Seylah reared back in her seat giving him a wild look. “Please tell me, how do we both know that? Because I, for one, was wholly unaware of your feelings.”
“How could you be?” August asked, coming to stand beside her.
“How could I not be?” Seylah whispered, and she blinked against the sudden pin prick of tears that threatened to fall.
Hadn’t she tried to broach this topic not only a day before? Where had his words been then?
And what of that fateful night?
She was so close to telling him she had heard him all those years ago when he had denied how he felt, had said she was a burden of debt, but she did not. Her lips would not form the words and she did not press the issue.
Instead, she asked, “After all these years...and then, and then there were those years when you were simply gone. Did you care for me then?”
“Do you mean did I love you then?” August asked, sinking to his knees in front of her. “Yes, honey, I did. I loved you then, every day, just as much as I do now.”
She shook her head but didn’t move away when he reached for her, his roughened hands skimming lightly against the backs of her hands. “What is this?” She finally asked when he laced their fingers together.
“This is me askin’ you for the honor of courting you, Seylah Wickes-Barnes.” He looked up at her from where he still knelt and asked, “Will you do me the honor of that?”