and relief were two of the most prominent, and were laced with bright ribbons of contentment and trust. His confusion and skepticism were still there, as well as the remnants of grief and loneliness from the past few days. But happily, those darker emotional strands were quickly being swallowed up by the lighter colored positive waves of excitement and bliss. There were wispy curls of surprised delight, humored amusement, and peaceful submission, all dancing along the surface of the larger feelings like salty spray on the sea. But as much as there was to see, I had to admit, the wave ringing the loudest and shining the brightest was the one I was focused on, drinking it in like blessed water after a marathon.
It was his love.
Min had told me that he was bound to me, and how much he had suffered thinking we could never be together. The information had subconsciously led me to believe that he loved me, but assuming was nothing compared to knowing.
After a long, languid moment, our lips parted, and Alex rested his forehead against mine, shaking his head, causing mine to wobble.
“This can’t be,” he whispered, his voice not quite steady. “You shouldn’t…”
“Don’t let Min hear you say that,” I teased, taking advantage of his pause. “She’ll smack you.”
“Min knows about this?” He pulled his head back, looking at me.
“Sure, she’s the one who told me what actually happened to me yesterday.”
“Yesterday?”
I nodded. “In the Inner Chamber, when you touched my hand on your way out.”
“I… I don’t remember… and that’s when you…” he stammered, looking through me for a second.
I stood quietly, allowing him to think, and I watched in amazement as his internal pondering turned the bluish-gray wave of confusion that was still mingling in and out of his other emotions to lighten in color, turning to comprehension and finally, elation.
“So, this is real then?” he asked me, with so much joy in his eyes it made my throat tight. “You are really meant for me? We’re meant… for each other?”
“Well, all I know for sure is that you are meant for me,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling my stomach give an excited squeeze, “but if you want me, I am all yours.”
His eyes sparkled as he gently cupped my neck, tipping my chin up and capturing my lips again, giving me a very welcome non-verbal answer.
A minute later – or thereabouts, as I’d lost track of time, but whatever the actual total was, it wasn’t long enough – Alex stepped back, but not before placing one last kiss on the hollow under my ear where my neck met my jaw. “Come on,” he said, taking my hand and leading me over to a wide window seat.
We sat silently for a moment, neither of us sure what to say, when suddenly Alex started to laugh – a bit hysterically, actually – rubbing his hands over his face.
“How can this have happened? This is impossible!” He laughed, leaning back looking so relieved, he was almost slaphappy. “I’m not complaining or anything, it’s just…” He looked over at me with unabashed wonder. “I would never in a thousand lifetimes have thought that this could ever happen.”
“Yeah,” I said, giving him a wry sideways glance “About all that ‘thinking’ you did – did it ever occur to you to just come out and tell me about all this?”
“Well, that depends,” he said, grinning. “Do you mean before or after the Iris test debacle?”
“Either,” I said, loving the playful smile on his face simply for the fact that it was there again.
“If we are talking about after, then no, there was no way I was going to tell you.” I noticed some of the sadder strands of emotion flow back in to the cloudy cocktail floating around him. He must have seen my eyes wondering, because all of a sudden his ears turned red and a huge wave of embarrassment came billowing out into the mix.
“Right,” he said with an awkward laugh, rubbing his neck where his Sciath should be. “I forgot you had that.”
“You forgot? So, you can’t see all this?”
“Nope.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out his Sciath, handing it over to him, fully expecting him to put it back on. He took it from me and looked at it a moment before laying it down on the bench between us.
“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t need it. I have nothing to hide. Not from you.”