All of a sudden, it was as though Alex was part of me. A part I could barely remember being without. As though he’d always been there in the background of my life, and I simply hadn’t realized it. In an instant he’d become my foundation; the canvas that my life was painted on, the idea of which was as subtle as it was all-encompassing, and as comforting as it was terrifying.
My God, what was happening to me?
I began to shake with cold, while my skin felt hot and feverish. I wanted it to stop but the ripples continued to surge on, shaking and rearranging me as they went, like clearing the screen on an Etch-A-Sketch only to draw the same picture again, but in a different color.
“Becca?” I heard Min call, realizing that she was all but holding me upright. “Becca, can you hear me? Just breathe, it will pass.” She began to lead me out into the hall and toward her office, walking as quickly as my trembling legs would allow, all the while whispering words of comfort. “Keep breathing, we’re almost there,” she continued, as we arrived at her office door. “We don’t want you passing out.”
My mind continued to swim as Min guided my wobbling form through the door and over to the couch, setting me down to rest. She hurried over to her cabinet, grabbing a glass bottle and pouring its contents into a cup along with water from a teapot on the stove.
“Drink this,” she said, handing me the glass, and taking a seat on the couch next to me. “The kettle’s been off for a while so it is cold, but it will help.”
I drank it down without even bothering to ask what it was, still waiting for my insides to be put right again. I looked up at Min, praying she would have a way to fix me, or at least an explanation, but I found her hand over her mouth, and her eyes dancing as though she were covering a grin.
A grin? What the hell could possibly be funny about this?
“Are you feeling better?” she asked, and now I was certain she was amused.
“A little,” I said, my voice squeaky. “What was that? Why do I feel like this?”
“Feel like what? Tell me.”
I got the feeling that she didn’t need a description, but I tried to play along. “I don’t know,” I stammered, “different. Like…” I died off, not knowing what to say. The truth was it was like Alex was suddenly and inexplicably the center of my whole world, and all I could think about was going to see him and never being away from him, and a ton of other overly-emotional things that were way too cheesy and melodramatic for someone like me to ever admit to, so I stuck with, “…different.”
She smiled knowingly, her obvious amusement really starting to wear on my nerves. “It’s Alex, yes?”
I didn’t answer, because I didn’t need to. It was written all over me, I was sure. All I could do was stare, imploring her to be straight with me. Then, out of nowhere, she started to chuckle. “Poor Alex,” she laughed to herself, shaking her head. “Wait until he finds out that all his worrying has been for nothing!”
I was at my wit’s end. “Min!” I yelled through clenched teeth. “I need answers! What is wrong with me?” The tears were brimming in my eyes before I could stop them, and I was horrified at the realization that I was actually about to cry.
Thankfully, Min took pity on me, placing my empty cup on the floor, and gathering my hands in hers. “He’s your Anam,” she said gently, giving my hands a pat. “That is what happened to you. That is why you feel the way you do. It is normal to feel strange and be emotional for a while, but that part will pass once your mind becomes used to the bond you’ve created.”
I blinked, not understanding. “That can’t be right,’ I said. “Chloe told me about all that Anam stuff, and she said it had to be a Holder and a non-Holder.”
“If Chloe is where you have been getting your information on the subject then there is more we will need to discuss than I thought,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Chloe believes that the Anam bond is all true love, and fairy tales, and butterflies, but it is much more substantial than that.” She paused, thoughtfully choosing her words