“Listen,” I said, stopping him and turning his shoulders to face me, “there is nothing to worry about. Alex is going to be with you, and I will be right down the hall.” His eyebrows furrowed reluctantly, and I decided to change my game plan. “You’ve been talking about meeting your dad for years, and now you are going to chicken out?”
“I’m not chicken!” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Looks like you are.”
“Am not!”
“You better go down and tell him that Ryland’s too scared to come,” I said to Alex over Ry’s head.
“No! You’re scared, I’m not scared! I’m not scared of anything! Come on!” he turned to Alex. “Let’s go.”
“Nice,” Alex whispered with a laugh.
“I’ll be in the lounge when you’re done.” I grinned, to which Alex nodded, then chased after Ryland who had stomped off without him, more than happy to prove me wrong.
I turned back up the hall, trying to push past the knot that had formed in my stomach at Ryland’s accusation. Was he right? Was I scared?
No. Fear is a reaction to the unknown, and I knew exactly what would have happened if I’d gone in with him to the meeting, and it wasn’t something that Ryland needed to see. In any event, no way would I ever admit to being scared of anything that involved Jocelyn.
Luckily the lounge was empty, and I pulled one of the oversized armchairs up to the bay window and sank down into the soft, worn leather. Just as I was seriously considering taking a nap, I heard Chloe’s singsong voice coming down the main stairs.
“There you are! I was knocking at your room not a minute ago! I got a new shipment of magazines today, come up and have a look at them with me!”
“I would, but I can’t now, maybe later.”
“You waiting for someone?” she asked, leaning over to look out the window.
“Ryland is in with Jocelyn, and I told him I’d be here when he gets out.”
“Oh… the big meeting.” She sat down on the ottoman at my knee. “Was he scared?”
“A little, but he’ll be all right.”
“Sorry,” she said, standing. “I’ll leave you be.”
“No, stay,” I insisted. “I could use the company. Besides, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Ever since my talk with Alex about my parents, I had been meaning to take his suggestion and ask Chloe about the Anam thing he had mentioned, but as Chloe usually did most of the talking, I hadn’t had a good opportunity.
“What’s that?” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.
“What’s Anam?”
She stiffened, instantly nervous. “What? Why? Where did you hear that?”
“Alex mentioned it, and when I asked him what it meant, he said to ask you.”
“Wait, Alex said to ask me? Are you sure?”
“Yes… he said you were an expert. Is something wrong?” Why was this such a big deal to everyone?
“No, it’s only that this was the one subject Alex forbid me to talk to you about… but since he was the one who told you to ask me–”
“Forbid you? Why?”
“He didn’t say, but I assumed it was because of your parents. I know that’s a bit of a touchy subject.”
“Oh. We had been talking about my parents when it came up, so I guess that makes sense.”
“But Alex said it was OK?” She was getting really excited now.
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
“Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I’m the one who gets to tell you!” She jumped up, resituated herself, pulled the ottoman closer to my chair, and tucked her hair back behind her ears. I bit back a giggle, thinking that she looked like a preschool teacher about to tell a fairytale to a bunch of dewy-eyed toddlers.
“Anam,” she began, as though it was the most wonderful word ever uttered, “is Gaelic for soul, and it’s what we call the special connection or bond that can happen between a Holder and a normal human. The legend says that thousands and thousands of years ago, when the Great Goddess of Ireland was creating all the people of the world, she blessed each of them with a tiny bit of her magic. This magic became the person’s soul. It is what gave them the ability to love, to see right from wrong, to laugh, and hope, and dream, and care for one another. Once all the people were created, the goddess chose a small group of her favorites to give special powers to.