one evening with two of the people I worked in the gallery with. I did some part-time hours there in between art classes.” Her eyes went to Fin’s paintings. “Not that I’ll ever be as good as you.”
“We’re not talking about me.” He sat there as big and unmovable as the mountains outside.
“It was a Friday night, and we decided to try out this new restaurant that had just opened down the road.”
She sipped her coffee, easing the dryness in her throat.
“It wasn’t late, about 7:30 p.m., but we ate early and were going on to meet some of their friends at a pub somewhere. I remember the door to the restaurant opening as I stood to pull on my jacket. He must have aimed at me first. I felt the burn in my side and fell to the floor. I don’t remember much from there. I had a short-sleeved top on, and shattered glass showered me as they opened fire. Amber, one of the girls I was with, fell on top of me.”
She was back there then, remembering everything. The smell of the food cooking, the screams of the people. The blood from Amber seeping into her clothes.
“It’s all right. You’re safe now.” Fin’s hand took hers where it lay clenched on the table. He held it clasped in his. “Tell me everything, Maggs.”
“I-I thought I was doing the best thing not telling anyone. Thought it would be over, and when I came back I would tell you about it one day, and you’d all be pissed, and upset for me, but move on just like I had.”
“But you haven’t moved on, have you?”
“No.” The word was a whisper. “Damn it, Fin, I’m better. Being here has helped, and I sometimes feel stronger. Like that night in the bar.”
“When you waded into that fight?”
“Yes. But then sometimes I’m so scared I don’t want to leave the house.”
“Okay, we’ll get to that. Tell me the rest of your story now, Maggie.”
His voice was slow and steady, and his hand warm around her fingers, so she did as he asked and plunged back into hell.
“I played dead.”
“Lying under your friend?”
Maggs nodded. “I thought if I pretended to be dead they wouldn’t come and finish me off.”
“Christ.” The word hissed out of Fin’s mouth.
“I lay there until they left. Then I rolled Amber off me. I knew she was dead. There was no pulse; I checked. I grabbed a handful of napkins and pressed them to my side.”
“Surely someone in there helped you?”
“Of course. To be honest, I don’t remember much after that. My injury wasn’t life threatening—”
“Bullshit! Anytime you’re shot, it’s life threatening.”
“Okay, yes, you’re right, but compared to some in that restaurant, I was lucky. I couldn’t move far, but managed to reach the man who’d fallen beside me. I stopped the blood flowing from his leg using his tie.”
“Your country girl training coming in?”
She looked at him, saw that the anger was easing slightly and in its place was something softer.
“We all learned first aid and had refresher courses. Our parents ensured it. So yes, I helped him. Then I passed out, because when I woke I was in the hospital.”
“Your parents don’t know.” It wasn’t a question, just stating facts.
“No.”
“You had no right to keep this from any of us, Maggie. Someone would have come over to you.”
“I told you I thought it was the right thing to do. I called my parents as soon as I could, told them I was okay. Shaken up. Nash said he’d come over, but I told him no.”
“You should have said yes.”
“I know that now.” Maggs exhaled. “I’m not sure why I didn’t, actually. I was out of it for a while, and then I thought, life goes on, I’ll be sweet. Until then nothing had really shaken the foundations of my life. There had been no major event to rock my confidence. I’d believed this wouldn’t. I was wrong.”
“So the panic attacks, the ‘don’t let them shoot me, Fin’—this all stems from what happened?”
Maggs nodded.
“And that was over six months ago, right?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not long to recover from a trauma like you suffered. Why didn’t you come home sooner if you were struggling?”
“I was okay to start with. I took some time to recover, and then when I started leaving the flat, I could feel the panic. I thought everyone was out to get me and wanted to shoot me.”
“You should have come home sooner!” He slapped his other hand on