for what I approached you with earlier. Only a person without hope or honor would do such a thing, and ’tis clear I have neither. How could my clan ever welcome me back with open arms when I’ve done so much to bring shame to the people who loved me most?”
Bowen stepped forward, his hand pushing away the hood of her cloak to cup her scarred cheek. The action startled her so much that she stood frozen, staring at him wide-eyed.
He caressed the mangled flesh, her distress increasing with every second his fingers touched her with such gentleness.
“I propose that we both forget about what occurred in your chamber earlier. I acted reprehensibly.”
She shook her head, trying to free her cheek from his hand, but he palmed her jaw, holding his hand firmly in position.
“You reacted in disgust, as you should have. Who could blame you? What does a woman like me have to offer a man such as you? You’re beautiful,” she blurted out. “You could have any lass you crooked your finger at.”
Aye, ’twas true. The man was simply divine to look at. Not a single imperfection marred his body—or at least, what she could see of it. He was so beautiful to look at that she was sure many a lass had sighed upon setting eyes on him.
“I was once fair to look upon,” she whispered. “And now I am ruined.” She touched her face just above where his fingers rested and then offered a hoarse laugh that was abrasive in the still air. “Ruined in more ways than one. No part of me has survived Ian McHugh’s possession. I’ll never be whole again.”
There was blackness in Bowen’s expression that should have frightened her. Perhaps if she had anything left to lose, she would have been more afraid. As it was, she looked at him bleakly, resignation whispering through her veins.
“ ’Tis not your dishonor you wear,” he said darkly. “ ’Tis no shame for bearing what is done to you and working to preserve your dignity.”
She laughed again, the sound harsh and abrasive. “Dignity? I have none. None was allowed me. I proved that none remains when I offered to whore myself to you.”
She closed her eyes against a fresh surge of tears, humiliation chanting an awful litany in her head.
“You can’t imagine how it feels to have no other choice or to believe that all you’re worth is what you can offer a man through your body. I used to think I’d reached my absolute lowest point, and that I couldn’t possibly debase myself any more than I already had. I was wrong. ’Tis when I willingly offered my … s-s-services … to you that I realized I’d sunk as low as was possible. And yet I was so desperate for freedom that I was willing to debase myself, to face you with no shame or pride. I hate myself for that.”
She choked out the words, her anger and grief swelling with every passing second. She wanted to rage against the world. Wanted to scream at the helplessness of her situation and the unfairness of it all.
Bowen’s eyes glittered. He was furious. She couldn’t blame him.
“I wish with all my heart and soul that my brother hadn’t killed Ian McHugh,” Bowen growled.
Her eyes widened and her lips quivered. “Why would you want him to live?”
He pulled her close, until she was pressed to his body, his heat wrapping around her like the warmest fur in winter. He caressed her scarred cheek with a touch so tender that it was a physical ache in her soul.
His head lowered until his mouth was but mere inches from hers. His eyes were fierce, yet when he spoke his voice was quiet and resolute.
“So that I could kill him now for all he has done to you.”
Another tear crept over her eyelid and slipped unchecked down her cheek. He thumbed it gently away.
“Do not cry, Genevieve. ’Tis more than I can bear to see your tears.”
She bowed her head, staring downward, but he eased his palm down to cup her chin and then he carefully nudged upward so she was forced to meet his gaze again.
“I’m taking you back to the keep,” he said, his voice firm, brooking no argument. “You’ll be assigned a new chamber. I want your promise that you’ll not venture out alone again. I will not allow you to be ill-treated ever again, Genevieve. That is the promise I make to you.”
She couldn’t draw breath.