awkward moment passed.
Anna observed how they treated Duncan with respect, even in the stories they told. It was obvious they recognized him as their captain and future laird. The history and loyalty they shared brought a sting of envy. Anna missed the deep connection of family. Though she laughed along with them at the more outrageous exploits, laughter did not stave off the acute feeling of loss. Though they accepted her, Anna’s own history now lay buried in ruins many days’ ride away.
Duncan bumped his shoulder against hers. “Anna, ye have heard some of our most embarrassing moments growing up. ’Tis only fair ye tell a few tales of yer childhood.”
Smiling, she thought of the myriad ways she’d caused mischief while growing up. She recounted how many nursemaids she’d gone through, and the terrible tricks she played on them to escape outside so she could watch the men training.
She pointed out several scars on her arms, head, and one in particular on her neck, describing the circumstances behind them. Most were earned training in combat, sparring with both Edrick and Master Zhang. Or gained from headstrong behavior typically involving a horse, weapons and youthful foolishness.
Anna noticed the mood around the fire changed. Instead of enjoying the escapades of a reckless youth, the men now stared at her with grim expressions. Self-conscious, she fell silent.
Iain recovered first. “Forgive us, milady, we are not used to a lass being treated thus. ’Tis more than a little unsettling to hear of ye being wounded so and seeing the scars.”
Nodding her understanding, she forced a smile of reassurance. What little camaraderie she’d felt earlier evaporated. Silence and discomfort wove together, creating a tension demanding resolution. The bitterness of loneliness formed in her mouth that neither wine nor ale could wash away.
Taking Trean with her, Anna rose to take the first watch. The new moon offered very little light. Putting aside the mixed emotions of the evening, she slipped into the role of sentry. Opening her senses, she relished hearing and quickly assessing every noise, every movement in the woods around her. The aroma of moist earth and heather rode on the slight breeze. With a clear sky, the stars shone so bright they seemed almost close enough to grasp.
Rory came by for his watch, surprising her at how quickly the two hours passed. Not yet sleepy, she chose instead to quietly walk the perimeter of camp, Trean at her heels.
Halting beneath a broad-branched tree, she slid her back down the trunk to sit on the ground. Anna hugged her knees, laying her head on an arm. Alone with her thoughts, Trean curled at her feet, she considered the night’s events. She had been lulled into thinking she belonged with the MacGregors, but she didn’t. Thoughts and feelings from yesterday, of wondering what it would be like to belong with Duncan, seemed far away. A few scraps of plaide wouldn’t change reality.
She felt her time with him was fleeting. Tonight served as a painful reminder. Through his loving words and amorous encounters, Duncan had awakened a woman in her she’d never suspected existed. His recognition and nurturing of this part served to make her care for him even more. This caring was too potent to be anything else but love. It was, wasn’t it? Their time together daily had steadily allowed it to grow.
Sadly, Anna found his loving words could not erase her lingering doubts. Too long had she been the subject of ridicule and scorn. Part of her believed it to be only a matter of time before Duncan truly saw her for what she was—a destitute hoyden of noble blood. On that day, he would turn away and break her heart. Was risking the pain of a broken heart worth experiencing the passion and tenderness he offered now? When it came to an end, she would at least have memories of this time to cherish. It would have to be enough.
When the time came, she would accept the laird’s offer of escort elsewhere. She might be familiar with pain, but she knew she couldn’t bear to stay and watch Duncan marry another. Perhaps she could fulfill the role of healer with one of the neighboring clans, giving her the ability to visit Nessa and Mairi from time to time. She pushed those thoughts aside, fearing they would demand her attention soon enough.
Deciding not to give into despair, she crossed her legs and settled into meditation. She heard Duncan’s step before he arrived.
He sat