then I stopped. “If you’re sure, but I could use the fresh air.”
Another eye roll. I decided I would start counting those as a good thing, since they happened so often when we were talking.
“Fine.” She started walking to the elevator as I locked the door, and I tried not to let her see the goofy smile on my lips.
When we got into the elevator, she looked serious again. Not unhappy, but definitely thinking hard. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but I was scared it’d be about me.
I talked about something else instead. “You said your sister was younger. How old did she turn the other day? I don’t think you told me.”
She dipped her head and her eyes softened at the mention of her sister. “She’s a senior in high school.” She seemed amused at the surprise on my face. “She was a sorpresita for my parents. She was born when I was fourteen, but yeah, I’m more like a second mom than a sister.”
“My sister and I have a similar relationship, although I’m sure your parents actually parented her.”
She furrowed her brows and I could tell she was trying hard not say whatever she was thinking. The first thing that popped into my head was that she was feeling sorry for me, but I pushed it down. I didn’t have to make assumptions. As the elevator hit the first floor, we both cleared our throats, regrouping. We stepped out into the cool evening together in silence. With every step, I worried that the kiss upstairs would really make things weird between us—or worse, interfere with what I was here to do.
With every quiet step we took to her house, I felt the panic crawling up my throat that I’d fucked up. I went with something I knew usually got her talking. “How is it going with the new therapists?”
Her eyes narrowed like she was trying to figure out why I was asking. But after a couple more steps, her shoulders slumped and she shook her head as she walked. “It’s going less well than I hoped, to be honest.”
“Did something happen?” I wouldn’t be surprised if this didn’t have to do with Phil and Duke.
She sighed, still not looking up. “The clinical director is a lot and I just—”
She caught herself before she said whatever was on her mind, and she didn’t have to say it for me to know that it wasn’t good. “Never mind. I’m just tired.” Her face changed in an instant, her shoulders tensed.
I tried to make small talk all the way to her place, about Dallas and how quiet it was at night in our part of town, about the weirdness of being able to wear shorts in November, and how even though we missed New York, the longer fall days in Texas had their charm. From the distracted way she responded to my questions, I knew she was preoccupied too, so before I talked myself out of it, I spoke. “That was a mistake.”
Her head snapped back at my words and she stopped walking.
I made myself look at her. I needed to see her face when she told me I was an asshole, and that she never wanted to see me again, but she didn’t. She held up her hand, her eyes closed.
“I can see myself home from here.” She sounded exhausted as I stood there feeling like I was turning to stone. “No hard feelings.” That last part she barely got out, but soon she was walking up the sidewalk leading to her building block.
I’d done what I needed to. I should’ve been relieved. But as I made my way back to my place, all I felt was regret.
Chapter Twelve
Rocco
I felt a finger snap by my ear and I turned my head to see Tariq and Dani looking at me weird. “What?”
They both laughed, shaking their heads. Dani spoke up after taking a sip of his beer. “Dude, it’s like the third time you’ve checked out in the last half hour. What’s with you?”
I was not really in the mood for true confessions, but I had to talk about it with someone. “I kissed Julia, then told her it was a mistake. And I’ve been all emo about it since. I think I have feelings for her.”
They both laughed hysterically for a full minute before either one could get a word out. Tariq recovered first. “My guy, that is not news. You’re a grumpy bastard with everyone else,