I was fine, but the end result was finding out that I probably won’t ever get pregnant.”
“How did he take the news?”
“Well, or so I thought. I mean, like I said, he had made a big deal out of carrying on the family name. He mentioned adopting a few times, but we quickly got absorbed back into our work lives and it never really came up again.”
He ducked down to keep her gaze when she would have glanced away. “But?”
“But nothing; there’s nothing more to tell. I know it makes me sound like less than a woman, maybe, to say that I’m okay with that future. I never ruled out adoption, but then things turned out like they did, I moved here…I’m forty now, and…well, I made peace with it.”
“What else?”
“Nothing else.” She finally sighed when he kept staring. “Okay, okay, so the personal assistant he was with when I walked in on them…they’re married. She’s already had their first child by now, at least I assume so since she was pregnant when I left Colorado.”
“Ah. Fresh start a few thousand miles away. Good choice.”
“I thought so.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Things tend to work out the way they do for a reason. I don’t know that I’d have ever stepped out from his shadow to build my own life. Now we both apparently have what we wanted. It’s not a bad thing, Brett.”
And it was clear that she meant it.
“I just didn’t—”
“Want the pity party. I know. That’s not you. And, for what it’s worth, I’m kind of glad it worked out like it did, too.” He snugged her closer against his body. “Purely selfishly speaking.”
She giggled, which made him smile in return. He framed her face with his hands and kissed her. “I guess we’re both a couple of misfits, finding our own place,” he said.
“Something like that, I guess.”
“I like this place, Kirby. Your space. You. This. All of it. I couldn’t have said what it was that was going to make me feel content, or at peace. Or excited about life. About what I was going to do next. I should have never stayed in that world as long as I did, but I didn’t know where to go. I just knew where I wasn’t going. And that was into business with Dan.”
“The guy who came to see you?”
“Mmm hmm,” he said, bussing her on the nose, then hopping over to the stove when his sauce started to boil. “Turns out he’s not as happy for me as I thought he was.”
“Oh?” Kirby had picked up her knife again, but put it right back down. “In what way?”
“He was thinking I’d get over this…ennui, or whatever you want to call it, and come back and work with him. I worked for his dad as a kid, and with him off and on the whole time I was playing cards. His dad retired about five years ago, moved to Palm Springs. Dan runs their home building and construction company now. And though I enjoy aspects of it, it’s not really want I wanted to do full time, or how I wanted to make use of my degrees.”
“Which are?”
“Architecture and design theory.”
“There wasn’t a way to join his world to yours? They sound related.”
“Not the type of business he does, no. And…frankly, maybe I always knew that I wanted to get out of the desert, take on a new challenge. Vegas and the surrounding counties aren’t exactly known for their architectural brilliance, at least beyond the magnificence of the resort casinos. And I don’t have any interest in commercial building.”
“What did you want to do?”
“That’s just it. I only knew what I didn’t want to do. And I guess Dan thought he knew me better than I did, and figured I’d finally realize that I was destined to work with him. Things aren’t apparently going so well right now, and I’ve offered to help him out, but he’s too proud to accept a loan, much less an outright gift.”
“I understand the feeling.”
He smiled briefly. “I know you do. And I’ve tried to be more discreet and creative in the way I offered help, but…let’s just say it was a sore subject which has been closed for a long time.”
“Until this morning?”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
He looked over, surprised.
“It’s obviously eating away at you. You’re a nurturer, Brett. You take care of people. You want to help Dan because you love him. He can’t accept your help because it makes him feel less