My heart, my body, and my soul were all yearning for her.
Why did this have to happen right now? Why did I have to feel this strongly for Julie? It was dredging up a lot of old feelings, but I decided I was not going to be a slave to them. I deserved to move on and strive for happiness.
“What is it?” I asked. Julie had not spoken, and she didn’t want to keep eye contact with me. She was shy and nervous. But I could see that she wanted me back and those feelings were possibly very frightening because of who I was. I was her boss. This was heading into another territory. I had to proceed cautiously.
Julie then murmured. “I…I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel.”
“Well, you feel how you feel. It doesn’t matter what you are supposed to do. I sensed something the day I met you. Did I imagine it, or did you feel something as well?”
She didn’t respond for a moment. But then she said, “I felt something.”
“What did you feel?”
I waited a few moments for her to collect her thoughts. Then she looked into my eyes. She was so beautiful. It pained me to see any kind of emotional grief in her eyes. I could see that this had been building inside of her for the past few weeks, just as it had inside of me. Every day we would seem to run into each other and have a quick discourse, and then go about our ways. But every day those longing glances would be more direct, more lingering, and it would take so much longer to recompose after it was over. I’d find myself working late at night and my thoughts plagued by feelings that I didn’t act on during the day. Well, now I was there with Julie and I could see it plain as day that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. There was no reason to pretend anymore. I’d made some vows to myself, but this was different. I felt that if I had a chance to pursue this and I didn’t, then I would regret it for the rest of my life.
So, there I was telling Julie exactly how I felt.
“I felt something,” Julie said. “I’m not sure I should be telling you this.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s got to be against some sort of rules or… something.”
“Does it feel right? Or do you just think it feels wrong?”
“It feels right. Since that moment I saw you, there has been this feeling of being drawn closer to you. I’ve tried every single day to ignore it and shove it down, but it’s there. It’s burning inside of me. I… I can’t stop it.”
I could see that Julie was almost in tears by now. The past few weeks had been stressful for her, just as they had been for me. I could count the number of times that I had fantasized about taking her as she walked down the hall, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the elevator, and then ravaging her body until we were both too weak to stand up.
“I’ve been alone a long time,” I said. “Emotionally, I’ve been alone. Physically, I’ve been alone as well. I can’t remember the last time I really felt like this. It’s a strange, burning desire so deeply ingrained in my soul that I feel I might suffocate if I don’t do something about it.”
This was really happening. We were going there. I could feel it, but I could still sense some hesitation in Julie. I had to know where she stood.
“What will other people think?” Julie asked. “I just started here, and I don’t want the rumors to start.”
“Don’t worry about it. Rumors can’t really hurt you. I always make sure that my employees are protected from each other. We have a zero-harassment policy here. If someone is treating you in a way that is unwanted after you’ve asked them to cease, then we will absolutely take care of it.”
Julie smiled. She was now standing so close to me. I wanted to scoop her up in my arms, to hold her against my chest, and kiss her deeply. I wanted to dance with her and feel her, writhing her sexiness against my body. And I wanted to do it right there in front of everyone. But I wasn’t going to. Right now, if something does happen, I wanted to keep it between us. It was fun to keep