will call again.”
Louisa smiled and reach out to pat her sister’s arm. “Don’t worry, Lucy,” she said, as she took up her chain again. “If Papa says so, it is the truth. Besides, I’ve seen the way Charles looks at you. I think your professor is half in love with you already.”
Lucy sat quietly wondering at her sister’s words. Did Charles love her? He had confessed to being attracted to her, yet did that mean he loved her? She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, Louisa, I… I have nothing to offer him.”
“Of course you do, silly,” Louisa said rolling her eyes and giving a giggle. “You have yourself. He could do no better than to take you as his bride,” Louisa assured her.
Lucy found herself uncomfortable with the thought of marriage. She still wondered if she was more like her sister than she wanted to admit. She picked up a flower from her lap and rolled the stem between her fingers as she gathered her courage. “Louisa,” she said quietly. Louisa lifted her eyes and tilted her head as if knowing her sister was about to speak of something that concerned her on a deeper level.
“Do you… do you ever feel bad about… well, about your life? I mean… I’m not sure I could ever marry a man who is so strict.”
If Louisa was surprised at the question, she didn’t show it. In fact, she nodded, dropping the chain to her lap pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them. Placing her chin on her knees, she sighed. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me,” she admitted. “Part of me wishes I could simply tell you it’s none of your business, or… or make up some story that would satisfy you, but I never have lied to you.”
“You weren’t exactly truthful when I first arrived at Wintercrest,” Lucy said.
Louisa nodded and had the grace to flush. “But I didn’t flat out lie.” The girls were silent for a moment before Louisa continued, “Did you ever stop to think that perhaps I was scared a bit too?”
Lucy was about to shake her head when the truth hit her. Of course Louisa had to have been scared. Even if she’d never actually admitted to the fact, Lucy had seen her blushing, had watched her lip tremble when being witnessed in her childish dresses or the day she’d been discovered wearing an actual nappy. Suddenly feeling a bit ashamed of herself, Lucy nodded. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I-I just never expected to find you…”
“Dressed like a little girl?” Louisa provided. It was Lucy’s turn to flush as Louisa continued, “Lucy, I am happy. I love Edward and he loves me. I know it is hard to understand.” Shrugging her shoulders, she admitted, “I don’t even admit to understanding everything. This is a lifestyle I never knew existed. I can’t say that I enjoy being spanked so often, but I’ve learned that Papa only punishes me when I’ve been naughty. It’s really not that different from when our father disciplined us. The rest was hard at first and I… I was scared that you would no longer love me when you discovered that I am treated more as Papa’s child bride than his wife.”
Lucy felt her sister’s pain and sat forward and threw her arms around her twin. “Oh, Louisa,” she said, “Don’t ever think that. You are my sister, my twin… we are part of each other. I will always love you.” Louisa hugged her sister hard and the girls sat back again.
“Thank you. I love you so much,” Louisa said, handing her sister another flower. “I know we just admitted that clothing shouldn’t matter, but I can’t honestly say it didn’t bother me when I first was put into little girl dresses. There are times when I see a woman dressed in some elegant gown and I feel envious. And, it was really hard being made to take a nap every day in my nursery,” she said. Lucy’s eyes immediately widened.
“Nursery?” she asked. “Edward calls his room a nursery?”
Louisa’s face flooded with color and she looked around the interior of their little world but didn’t meet Lucy’s eyes.
“Louisa? I’m not going to judge you, remember?” Lucy declared, hoping she would remember that promise.
“No, Edward’s room is his though I share it most nights. But… yes, Lucy,” she said quietly. “I… I have my own room at the top of the house. Papa