Heir to a Desert Legacy - By Maisey Yates Page 0,58

he could never touch her again. She shouldn’t want him to touch her again. But she did.

“What about with my hands unbound?” He reached out, his thumb skimming her cheekbone. “What about then? When I can bend you over the bed, like I fantasized about. When I can grip your hips tight while I go deep inside you. What about then?”

She swallowed, her throat dry. “Yes. Then.” She wasn’t sure what was making her so brave, why she wasn’t shrinking away from his words.

She looked hard into those dark, fathomless eyes. She knew why. Sayid said he felt nothing, but she knew, knew for a fact, that that was a lie. It was a lie he told himself, as much as one he told the world. A lie he believed with every piece of himself.

There was more to him than he believed. More than he knew.

And she knew one thing for her. She could trust him. As far as how he would handle her physically, she could trust him.

“Yes,” she said. “You would never abuse me. You would never hurt me. You would never use my desire for you as a punishment. You would never use it to bend me to your will. And you wouldn’t use your fists to do that, either. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Chloe...”

“You can’t. Because I’m not wrong. I’m right, and you know it. I’m not afraid of you,” she said, taking a step toward him, putting her palm flat on his chest. “I don’t need to be.”

“I would never hurt you physically, Chloe. Never. But I could hurt you in other ways. I will never love you. I can’t.”

“Who said I wanted that? I didn’t. In fact, I think I said the opposite. I think I said that I don’t need forever. And I don’t. I just want this. For as long as we can have it. Until it burns out. I’ve never been able to have this before. I’ve never wanted it. I’ve always been so scared. I just let...life, the past, sort of kick me along the stream. I worked hard in my professional life, but when it comes to relationships, I’ve never tried.”

“You’ve tried with Aden.”

“He’s the first person. Ever. The first person I’ve ever felt truly bonded to.” It would have happened with Tamara, but they’d never had the chance. And now she felt it with Sayid. She would call it a side effect of the sex, but she could remember feeling this exact feeling at the wedding, as the vows were spoken.

She didn’t want to analyze it. Not closely, not even at a distance. She just wanted the physical. For once, she just wanted to let go of thought and do what felt good.

And it was freeing. To let herself loose, to let herself embrace a part of herself she’d shoved down so deep she hadn’t realized it existed.

“I do want you, Sayid,” she said. “For as long as we both want each other. Do you think you can handle me?”

He chuckled, a low, humorless sound. “Habibti, I am not the one you should have concern for.”

“You never know.”

“You’re trying to see something in me that doesn’t exist.”

“Maybe,” she whispered, realizing the truth of it when she spoke it.

“Don’t,” he said. “Understand this, I didn’t experience a little trauma in prison and come out like this. I was like this when I went in. The reason I survived is because this was the man I was when they captured me. I would throw myself on a bomb tomorrow to save a life, and it’s not because I’m so brave, or so heroic. It’s because I don’t genuinely see any future for myself, neither do I have a care for it. And it’s because I feel nothing. Because nothing means a damn thing to me.”

The admission chilled her, terrified her. And part of her refused to believe it. She hated that part of herself, even as she clung to it. She had to believe there could be better for him. That there could be more.

She strode forward, keeping space between their bodies, one hand on Aden’s back, curling her arm around Sayid’s neck and going up on her tiptoes, kissing him, fiercely, possessively. He planted his hands on her hips, kissing her back, tracing her lips with his tongue before delving in deep.

When they parted, they were both breathing hard. She rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes, trying to make sense of the emotion coursing through her body.

“Do