was just part of the overload. Everything was sexual. The sheet, sliding over the backs of my legs. His fingertips firing nerves. The smell of him, the taste of him still tingling on my lips, the sound of his breath in my ear.
"I don't know how," I whispered, when I'd stopped shaking. "Tell me how."
"You have to learn how to choose what level of sensation and perception to use," he said. "To start with, I want you to meditate and block out what's around you."
"Meditate?" I took my head out from under the pillow, shook dark hair back from my face, and rolled over on my side to look at him. "Excuse me, but the closest I ever got to having a spiritual awakening was dating a yoga instructor. Once."
David propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at me. No mistaking it; he was enjoying this a little too much. And I was enjoying the bird's-wing graceful sweep of his pecs. "You're underestimating yourself. You're highly spiritual, Joanne. You just don't know it. Just clear your mind and meditate."
Meditate. Right. I took a deep breath and tried to relax muscles I no longer actually had. Which was more than a little confusing, even in the abstract.
"Focus," David's voice said next to my ear, and of course, it was instantly impossible to stay anything like on track. His voice got inside me in places that nice girls don't mention. His breath stirred warm on my skin, and there went that potential orgasm thing again, a little earthquake of sheer pleasure that completely sabotaged any chance of achieving my center.
I didn't open my eyes, but I said, "I could focus a lot better if you were somewhere else."
"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry. That velvet-smooth tenor sounded smug. "I'll be quiet."
He was. I concentrated on visualizing something calming-in my case, it was the ocean-but the whole wave-and-surf vibe fell apart when I heard him rustling pages. I sighed and opened my eyes, propped myself up on my elbows, and looked over at him.
He was lying next to me in bed, propped up, reading the newspaper.
"You're kidding," I said. He gave me one of those What? looks and went back to the Metro section. "I'm trying to meditate, here! Give me a break. At least help."
"I am helping," he said. "I'm distracting myself so I don't distract you."
I glared. It had absolutely no effect. He sighed, put the paper at half-staff, and looked at me gravely over newsprint. "Fine. What would you like me to do?"
"I don't know! Something!"
"I can't meditate for you, Joanne."
"Well, you can . . . encourage me!"
He folded the New York Times and put it down on the side table. "Oh, I'd like to encourage you. I just don't think it would help you focus. Unless . . ."
"What?" I asked. He turned on his side and reached out, trailed a single fingertip over the curve of my shoulder and down my arm. Little earthquakes, building to a major seismic event inside . . .
"Never mind." It wasn't nothing, I could tell. He wasn't trying to distract me, he really was trying to distract himself. From me. "Meditate for another half hour, and I'll tell you."
My entire attention fixed on the square half-inch of skin his finger was touching. "Half an hour?"
"Half an hour."
"I can do that."
Sheer bravado, but now I was motivated. I flopped back flat on the pillow, closed my eyes, and concentrated hard on that ocean . . . blue-green waves rolling in from a misty horizon . . . churning to pale lace as they crashed on the shore . . . whispers of mist cool on my skin ... a fine, endless white sand beach that glittered in sunlight . . .
I felt like I was actually achieving something- clearing my mind of the idea of him lying beside me, anyway-when he blew it for me by talking again.
"Joanne," he said. "Quit hovering."
I opened my eyes and realized I was looking at the motel room ceiling. White spackled moonscape broken up by a dusty ice sculpture of a light fixture two inches from my nose.
Oh. When he said hovering, he meant hovering. As in seven feet above the bed.
"Crap," I said, and looked over my shoulder. "I went all Exorcist."
"Actually, it wasn't a bad try.