Heartless (Alpha Bodyguard #9) - Sybil Bartel Page 0,30

weakest in your current security plan, along with food and maid service.”

My heart already racing, the thought of a maid or a room service delivery bringing a bomb up here or, worse, detonating en route made my stomach heave. “Fine,” I agreed.

“I’ll make it happen. Ronan will keep you apprised of any updates.” With a curt nod, André headed to the door.

Vance followed. “Back in a few, love.”

The door shut behind them, and Harm blended into the wallpaper, but Ronan, he stared at me.

Anxiety pinging around my body like pinpricks all over my skin, I crossed my arms tighter against the chill of the air conditioning. “What?”

His eyes never leaving mine, Ronan addressed the silent bodyguard. “Harm, post outside.”

Without a word, the silent man let himself out of the suite.

Tension almost immediately closed in around us as I was left standing next to the man I had betrayed. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“What are you doing?” he demanded, ignoring my assertion.

“Trying not to get blown up,” I snapped. “What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” Suddenly feeling more intimate than the private jet, this suite was too small for the both of us.

“It looks like you’re hiding.”

I couldn’t swallow past the sudden lump in my throat. “There’s a bomber after me. Of course I’m hiding.” Hoping he couldn’t see my lies, I turned toward the glass sliders overlooking the turquoise ocean I’d missed so much. With strong winds kicking at the coast, the waves were higher than usual.

Smelling like the view I was staring at, Ronan stepped next to me. “Vance isn’t throwing all of Trefor’s resources at this. You won’t let Luna use all of his. The gamble of coming here was beyond a calculated risk, and you’re not asking the most important question.”

I should’ve told him what we knew.

I couldn’t even remember a good reason now why I hadn’t, except Vance said not to.

Nothing to say, I stared at the roiling waves, and for one quiet, immeasurable moment, the man I wanted to spend forever with stood next to me as if he’d always been there.

And he had been. In my heart.

I wanted to tell him that. I wanted to tell him so many things. But I couldn’t undo the one thing he’d made me promise more than fourteen years ago.

The memory so strong, tears choked the words in the back of my throat. “Do you remember what you said to me the morning of my first day of high school when I told you I was nervous?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I told you to never mistake me for my brother, and you’d have nothing to ever be nervous about.”

I couldn’t stop myself. I looked at him.

The intermittent sunlight coming through the clouds kissed his high cheekbones and glinted off his dark hair. His profile was as heart-stopping as if I was staring into his eyes. Knowing it was too late to matter, I asked what I should have all those years ago. “Why did you say that? Of all things to say to me in that moment, why that?” I suspected why, but he’d never spoken of it.

In true Ronan form, he didn’t answer. Instead, his voice went low and intimate, and he asked me the last question I was expecting. “Did Amherst force himself on you?”

Visceral and immediate, the memory I kept buried deep flooded my conscience, and my body reacted. Inhaling, I stepped back from the windows. “I’m not having this conversation.” Not with him. Not with anyone.

Quick and sure, he grabbed my chin and looked into my eyes with unadulterated rage. “Tell me right now.”

Anger warred with embarrassment, and I lied. “There’s nothing to tell.”

Searching my face, his grip tightened. “You’re lying.”

I was preserving my sanity. “You don’t get to judge me or pretend to care about me or my past. It’s too late for that. You cut me off. You walked away ten years ago. You’re the one who decided to not forgive me despite all my calls and texts.” I pulled out of his grasp and headed for the bedroom.

“Answer me.”

The demand, low and threatening, hurled at my back was the straw that broke me.

I spun on him in anger and yelled, “I was a dirt-poor Trinidadian girl in a rich man’s world. What would you expect me to do? Say no and lose the one shot I had at doing what I’d always wanted?” Except I didn’t know what I’d wanted back then because I didn’t know

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